"Midlife Obesity Raises Later Risk of Death: Study"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 10 Greater than 100%? No one gets out of life alive! "15 Pct of Workforce Affected by Alcohol: Study"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 10 85% can hold their liquor I guess. "One-Eyed Cat Had Medical Condition"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 10 Let me guess - the other eye? "Federal Gov't Installs Pole Barriers at Mexican Border"--headline, FoxNews.com, Jan. 11 They would probably be more...
And I bring you....Fire! Yep! The new year is but 2 weeks old and I have toasted more systems than you will ever own! Yep! It is all my fault! And I pulled their sorry arses out of the hell fire! Documentation does not matter. Diagnostics do not matter! Just your opinion! And if you are wrong? DOnt sweat it! You got me to blame, even when I have documentable proof you are a jerk and arse hole! So dont worry, be happy! Your rec...
In what has to be one of the funnier edicts in the religion of Islam, a former dean of law at Al Azhar University, Rashad Hassan Khalil has decreed that full nudity during the act of copulation, with a spouse no less, invalidates the marriage! Well, looking at some women (since I am a man - you women can use your own anecdotes), I think that looking at some of them fully nude would turn me off of sex, but invalidate a marriage? Please! They married each other to begin with, so the...
"Ford VP: 'Change or Die' "--headline, Detroit News, Jan. 5 Damn, that is a tough work environment! "Turkey Says Dead Boy Had Bird Flu"--headline, CNN.com, Jan. 4 I guess Turkeys are experts on Bird Flu. "Central Fla. Doctors See Spike in Cases of Sore Throats"--headline, WKMG-TV Web site (Orlando), Jan. 5 Kids wil swallow anything these days. "12-Year-Old Tina Enjoys Being a Girl"--headline, Arizona Republic, Jan. 4 Well, she could have been a boy named Sue! "C...
"Leak Leads Gators to Outback Bowl Win"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 2 Wonder what a poop would have done for them? "Family: Boy, 2, Hit by SUV in Good Condition"--headline, Clarion-Ledger (Jackson, Miss.), Jan. 3 Nice to know the SUV is ok, now how about the poor little boy? "Topless Women Plan Suit"--headline, Citizen (Auburn, N.Y.), Dec. 31 Hopefully it will be a full suit and not just the bottoms. "Breast Jobs Divide a Nation"--headline, Age (Melbourne, Austral...
I got my CD! Now I am published! In an address book! I got my Christmas CD! So many thanks to Parated2k! I will listen to it tomorrow night as I have plans for this night! {wink} {wink}
"Cyclical Vomiting: Not Just for Children"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 28 No, Lance Armstrong is entitled to it as well! "Would-Be Suicide Bombers Blown Up in Afghanistan"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 29 If he blows himself up, isn't he still a Suiicide Bomber? He just did nto get any innocent people. "Study: Guppies Have Menopause, Too"--headline, LiveScience.com, Dec. 29 Moral, dont mess with female Guppies having hot flashes! "Scientists Lift Malaria's Invisible Cloak...
Sen. Bill Alter wants to band the sale of cold beer, because, as he explains, the only reason people buy it is so they can pop the top as soon as leaving the store. Never mind that it would take a couple of hours to cool it down! Nope, he wants Missourians to start drinking Luke Warm Beer! Well, I have had the misfortune of drinking luke warm Beer. Indeed it was nasty as weasel piss! But one thing I learned living in Europe. Germans thumb their noses at the...
Sorry, I saw these 2 in the newest list and laughed! They are too great to pass up! Troops Kill, Capture Terrorists, Seize Weapons Caches Again no MSM reports...too bad... by ShadowWar on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 4:56:28 PM in War on Terror Bush Tries to Cover Up Incompetence in Iraq He hides behind his Generals by COL Gene on Wednesday, January 04, 2006 5:31:50 PM in Politics ...
"Bridge Over Kennedy to Reopen"--headline, Chicago Tribune, Dec. 27 I have heard of cry me a river, but drink one? "Rail Operator Begs Motorists to Take Care After Death"--headline, New Zealand Herald, Dec. 24 Kind of late to be taking care after you die. "Most Kids Will Outgrow Bedwetting: Pediatricians"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 26 The rest will become Bed Wetting adults. "Sheep Part of Ancestry of Association Leader"--healdine, Billings (Mont.) Gazette, Dec. 27 ...
"Hot Air Balloon Experts Say Safety Should Be First"--headline, KESQ-TV Web site (Palm Springs, Calif.), Dec. 21 Not getting in one should be first, then safety is not needed! "Wisconsin Study: Teens Play It Safe but Still Take Risks"--headline, WAOW-TV Web site (Wausau, Wis.), Dec. 21 Well, I guess the study is right. And wrong. "Moose Captured After Son Plays Saxophone"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 20 That's a talented Moose son! "India to Count Tigers Wit...
A family had moved to Seattle from Texas, and each of them missed their old home. That December, when they went to pick up their first-grade son from school, his teacher told them about a conversation she overheard. One boy said, "We're Catholic, and we are going to Christmas Mass." "Were Jewish," said another child. "And we're going to have a Hanukkah celebration. "Madison chimed in, "We're Texans, and were going to have a barbecue."
Headline, CNN: Hubble finds new moons, rings around Uranus Well, moons cant be helped. But a better grade of toilet paper might help with the rings!
"Health Tip: Tailbone Trauma Is Where It Really Hurts"--headline, HealthDayNews, Dec. 13 Why do you think they coined the term "pain in the ass"? "People Back Atomic Power but Not New Plants: Survey"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 14 Let's glow tonight! But leave the Broccli at home! "Drugs Called No. 1 Threat in Afghanistan"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 15 So much for Al Qaeda I guess. "Experts Warn Against Letting Space Heaters Lead to Fires"--headline, Radio Iow...
"Vomiting Bug Hits Over 250 Pupils"--headline, BBC Web site, Dec. 9 That bug has good aim! "Hispanic Influx Hits Schools Hardest"--headline, Carolina Journal, Dec. 13 Is that like the Spanish Flu? "Silver Backs Off Under Fire"--headline, New York Post, Dec. 13 The Lone Ranger needs to get a new Horse. "Policemen Destroy Desk After Python Scare"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 13 Policemen need to undergo snake recognition training. "Brain Researchers Put a Lit...