The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at ni...

THE START OF A CHRISTMAS TRADITION   One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.  Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found ...

1)Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.  But I repeat myself.....Mark Twain   2) I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. ........WinstonChurchill   3) A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.  ........George Bernard Shaw 4) A liberal is someone who feels a great d...

I use to be under the impression that it was a dog eat dog world. But dogs are too smart to be canibals!  So instead I bring you 2 whacky stories that can only come about because there are real loons out there! I wonder if story #2 was avenging story #1? ************************************* Man Bites Dog, Many Times GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) — A man has been charged with animal cruelty for allegedly biting his Jack Russell terrier ( search ) as punishment, and police say he use...

           Excerpts from our National "Beat Up on the French" Day:            "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks, it is a fine          country.  France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ---Mark Twain "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- Gen...

On Red Sea crossing: WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE Pursuing Environmentalists Killed On David vs. Goliath: HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock On Elijah on Mt. Carmel: FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY 400 Killed On the birth of Christ: HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple On feeding the 5,000: PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH Disciples Mystified O...

It seems that Thailand does not like having to police the grounds for Elephant poo!  So what to do? Invent a Elepotty!  I dont know it this is on the level or not, but it is printed in several places, and it will make you at least smile! Now that is what I call a BIG dump!

Seems a Democrat senator in Oklahoma wants to put little bitty boxing gloves on Roosters and make Cock fighting legal again!  I kid you not! I had to put this under humor as I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I read it! Can you picture the Bantam weight champion in his trunks and gloves? ROFL

Recently I blogged on the ineffectiveness of MoveOn.Org.  Little did I know how ineffective they really are!  The Followins is an ad they sponsored: Conscientious Objection- resisting the draft (2 registered participants) [address omitted] New York, NY This gathering will provide information about Conscientious Objection: what it is, how to prepare a CO file, and how people of all ages can participate in resisting the draft. If there is time at the end we can discuss other Move...

With all the horror and death and destruction in the world, it is good to take some time out for a little humor now and then. Today we bring you the "Anti-Banana" society!  Most would not even think of how evil they are, but we have it on the best of authroity that he following are actual factoids! Q: What do bananas, Hitler, and Napoleon have in common? A: Everything. Q: What did the banana say to the orange? A: You will die you orange bastard. Q: How do you spell b...

Ok, I am familiar with the story, so I do know what the author meant.  But come on!  Dont you think those guys getting paid mucho dinero can phrase it better? Selig to Testify on Steroids I hope he stops using them soon!

Gibson Resurrects 'The Passion' with Less Gore   Gibson is bringing back Lesley "It's my Party and I will Cry if I want to" Gore for the movie?

"McGwire Mum on Steroids"--headline, Oakland Tribune, March 18 Is his dad on Estrogen? "Pilot Ejects Safely After F-16 Crashes at Nellis Air Force Base"--headline, Associated Press, March 18 Why eject after a crash? Did he still get to 'walk away'?  

"Rice Arrives in China"--headline, Asian News International, March 20 Isn't that like shipping sand to the Middle East? "Early Classes Could Deprive Teens of Sleep, Experts Say"--headline, KVOA Web site (Tucson, Ariz.), March 21 We need Experts to tell us that?  WOW!  I guess Johnny really cant think! "Hitler Was Personally Behind Holocaust, Book Says"--headline, Reuters, March 22 Can I get a D? D Can I get a U? U   Can I get an H? H  ...

"Document: Bin Laden Evaded U.S. Forces"--headline, Associated Press, March 22 We need a document to know that? "Rice Porridge Ritual Predicted Major Quake in Japan"--headline, Agence France-Presse, March 21 Damn our new Sec. or State has a lot of talents! "Light Spotted From Beyond Solar System"--headline, Associated Press, March 22 I thought that was what we called stars?????? "Church to Play Next 'Spider-Man' Villain"--headline, FoxNews.com, March&nb...