"A Warmer World May, or May Not, Be Wetter"--headline, USA Today, May 30 I heard it may or may not be drier too. "Dollar Falls Amid Speculation of Snow Replacement"--headline, MarketWatch.com, May 30 Would that be rain or hail? "Venus Plots Path Back Into Top 10"--headline, Reuters, May 29 Since there are only 9 planets, aren't they all in the top 10? "Ancient rock art may depict supernova" -- Headline, CNN, June 5 Was that before Classical rock? "Butt Police ...
"A Warmer World May, or May Not, Be Wetter"--headline, USA Today, May 30 I heard it may or may not be drier too. "Dollar Falls Amid Speculation of Snow Replacement"--headline, MarketWatch.com, May 30 Would that be rain or hail? "Venus Plots Path Back Into Top 10"--headline, Reuters, May 29 Since there are only 9 planets, aren't they all in the top 10? "Ancient rock art may depict supernova" -- Headline, CNN, June 5 Was that before Classical rock? "Butt Police ...
"Teens' Heavy Cellphone Use Could Signal Unhappiness, Study Finds"--headline, Los Angeles Times, May 24 Or it could signal good signals. "80% of Little Ones Glued to TV"--headline, Washington Times, May 25 I hope they used Elmers and not Epoxy. "Law Professor Sale Says Enron Verdict Sends Warning"--headline, press release, University of Iowa, May 25 A little late to be selling Enron. "Snow Likely to Leave in June: Sources"--headline, Reuters, May 25 I am glad I do...
"Teens' Heavy Cellphone Use Could Signal Unhappiness, Study Finds"--headline, Los Angeles Times, May 24 Or it could signal good signals. "80% of Little Ones Glued to TV"--headline, Washington Times, May 25 I hope they used Elmers and not Epoxy. "Law Professor Sale Says Enron Verdict Sends Warning"--headline, press release, University of Iowa, May 25 A little late to be selling Enron. "Snow Likely to Leave in June: Sources"--headline, Reuters, May 25 I am glad I do...
"Man Critical After Losing Control of Scooter"--headline, News Journal (Wilmington, Del.), May 22 I would be more than critical. I would be cussing! "Firm Recalls Salads in Utah"--headline, Deseret News (Salt Lake City), May 23 Now wait a minute. I know caffeine is out for Mormons, but when did they ban salads? "Panel: Legislators Shouldn't Work Drunk"--headline, Associated Press, May 22 They dont work sober either. "Hicks Could Factor Big in Alabama Primary...
"Man Critical After Losing Control of Scooter"--headline, News Journal (Wilmington, Del.), May 22 I would be more than critical. I would be cussing! "Firm Recalls Salads in Utah"--headline, Deseret News (Salt Lake City), May 23 Now wait a minute. I know caffeine is out for Mormons, but when did they ban salads? "Panel: Legislators Shouldn't Work Drunk"--headline, Associated Press, May 22 They dont work sober either. "Hicks Could Factor Big in Alabama Primary...
"Congressman Caught on Tape, Documents Say"--headline, Associated Press, May 22 That fly tape catches everyone! "FBI Digs Michigan Field for Hoffa Remains"--headline, United Press International, May 18 I dig rock and roll, but I am not looking for hoffa in the latest Bob Dylan lyrics. "Jordan Plays Hardball With Hamas"--headline, Associated Press, May 19 I thought he had retired from baseball? "Strikes by Indian Doctors Enter Day 6; Poor Suffer Worst"--headline, Associa...
"Congressman Caught on Tape, Documents Say"--headline, Associated Press, May 22 That fly tape catches everyone! "FBI Digs Michigan Field for Hoffa Remains"--headline, United Press International, May 18 I dig rock and roll, but I am not looking for hoffa in the latest Bob Dylan lyrics. "Jordan Plays Hardball With Hamas"--headline, Associated Press, May 19 I thought he had retired from baseball? "Strikes by Indian Doctors Enter Day 6; Poor Suffer Worst"--headline, Associa...
"Poker Chips, Chain Saw Among Gifts Bush"--headline, Associated Press, May 15 Is that like a money tree? "For Some, It's Easy Being Clean"--headline, Daily Herald (Provo, Utah), May 16 It is a new invention called SOAP. "Shaken-Baby Syndrome Preventable, Experts Say"--headline, Daily Times-Call, May 15 We need experts to say dont shake? "Oldest Youth Tournament Under Way"--headline, News-Press (Fort Myers, Fla.), May 13 Youngest Oldster tournament set for the same...
"Poker Chips, Chain Saw Among Gifts Bush"--headline, Associated Press, May 15 Is that like a money tree? "For Some, It's Easy Being Clean"--headline, Daily Herald (Provo, Utah), May 16 It is a new invention called SOAP. "Shaken-Baby Syndrome Preventable, Experts Say"--headline, Daily Times-Call, May 15 We need experts to say dont shake? "Oldest Youth Tournament Under Way"--headline, News-Press (Fort Myers, Fla.), May 13 Youngest Oldster tournament set for the same...
"Brunett Takes Command of Squadron"--headline, Pacific Daily News (Hagatna, Guam), May 12 The blond flunked the test when she turned off the fans in the front of the plane. "Light's Most Exotic Trick Yet: So Fast It Goes . . . Backwards?"--headline, press release, University of Rochester (N.Y.), May 11 I thought that was called a mirror. "Princeton Mulls Uses for Hospital"--headline, Times (Trenton, N.J.), May 12 Hint for the Ivy League elites - try sick people. "L.A. M...
"Brunett Takes Command of Squadron"--headline, Pacific Daily News (Hagatna, Guam), May 12 The blond flunked the test when she turned off the fans in the front of the plane. "Light's Most Exotic Trick Yet: So Fast It Goes . . . Backwards?"--headline, press release, University of Rochester (N.Y.), May 11 I thought that was called a mirror. "Princeton Mulls Uses for Hospital"--headline, Times (Trenton, N.J.), May 12 Hint for the Ivy League elites - try sick people. "L.A. M...
"Connecticut to Hire Reading Instructor for Schools"--headline, Associated Press, May 5 One reading instructor? Must not be very many students in that state! "China Warns Tourists Against Spitting Overseas"--headline, Reuters, May 5 Spitting over land is fine however. "After Gorilla Escape, Dallas Gets Safer"--headline, Associated Press, May 6 No one wants to meet a gorrilla in a dark alley at night! "Heterosexual Elected Episcopal Bishop of Calif"--headline, Reut...
"Connecticut to Hire Reading Instructor for Schools"--headline, Associated Press, May 5 One reading instructor? Must not be very many students in that state! "China Warns Tourists Against Spitting Overseas"--headline, Reuters, May 5 Spitting over land is fine however. "After Gorilla Escape, Dallas Gets Safer"--headline, Associated Press, May 6 No one wants to meet a gorrilla in a dark alley at night! "Heterosexual Elected Episcopal Bishop of Calif"--headline, Reut...
"Experts Discuss Escalating Suicide Rate"--headline, Australian Broadcast Corp. Web site, May 2 Why? Isn't it high enough already? "Chad Leader Expected to Win Re-Election"--headline, Associated Press, May 3 Are those the dimpled or hanging ones? "Study Says Many Options for Alcoholics"--headline, Associated Press, May 2 Tom Collins, Gin and Tonic, Cosmopolitan, Bloody Mary, etc. "River Goes Dry Before Scientists' Eyes"--headline, Charlotte (Fla.) Sun, May 3 ...