"Midlife Obesity Raises Later Risk of Death: Study"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 10

Greater than 100%?  No one gets out of life alive!

"15 Pct of Workforce Affected by Alcohol: Study"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 10

85% can hold their liquor I guess.

"One-Eyed Cat Had Medical Condition"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 10

Let me guess - the other eye?

"Federal Gov't Installs Pole Barriers at Mexican Border"--headline, FoxNews.com, Jan. 11

They would probably be more effective in Warsaw.

"New Source of Global Warming Gas Found: Plants"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 11

Are we going to erradicate all plants now?

"Tour Bush Crash in Egypt Kills Six"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 11

You knew it had to be Bush's fault.

"Taiwan Breeds Transgenic, Fluorescent, Green Pig"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 12

So much for the green ham, now about those green eggs????