"Supremes Debate Suicide"--headline, New York Post, Oct. 6, 2005 Diana Ross to have Press conference at 9pm. "LDS Church Not Taliban, Rocky Says"--headline, Deseret News (Salt Lake City), Oct. 5 "Apollo Creed is Taliban" Claims fighter. "229 Vietnamese Reach U.S. After 16-Year Journey"--headline, MSNBC.com, Oct. 7 They must have eaten a lot of fish! "Iraq Parl't Reverses Vote Rule, Sunnis Still Cool"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 5 Fonzi still training Sunnis on cool...

"Justice Roberts Takes Supreme Court Bench"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 3 John, you are supposed to SIT on it, not take it home! "A Battle to Rebuild Looms in New Orleans"--headline, Boston Globe, Oct. 2 Why worry about Carpets?  Try the buildings before you start thikning of the furnishings. "Nixon Alleges Price Gouging by Gas Stations"--headline, St. Louis Business Journal, Sept. 28 A voice from the grave! "Health Tip: Rats Can Be a Health Hazard"--headline...

Most people know that while the Wright Brothers flew in North Carolina, they lived in Ohio.  And most people know that the first American that orbited the earth was from Ohio.  And that the first man to set foot on the moon was from Ohio. What I want to know is why is everyone so desperate to get out of Ohio?

"Fresh Approach Urged by Toilet Experts"--headline, Guardian (London), Sept. 26 Glade would not hurt at all "Sex Workers Seek to Form Union"--headline, Korea Times, Sept. 25 Where so I sign up? "Singapore: Bull Semen Improved China Ties"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 27 I think I will go with the drier ties. "Compulsive Shopping Carries a Heavy Price"--headline, HealthDay, Sept. 29 Must have been written by a husband. "Arctic Ice Melts Faster as It Gets War...

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident."   "OH NO!" the president exclaims. "That's terrible!"   His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, his head cradled in his hands.   Finally, the president looks up and asks,   "How many is a Brazillion?"  

"Mysterious 'Ball of Fire' Seen in Fla. Skies"--headline, WKMG-TV Web site (Orlando), Sept. 21 Some people call that the sun. "Sturgeon Stocks Are in Decline Around World, Survey Reports"--headline, New York Times, Sept. 22 Exocoetidae stocks are flying tho. "Deal Is Reached to Put Toilets on City Streets"--headline, New York Times, Sept. 22 Is this an example of Squatters rights? " 'Light' Smokers Face Tripled Risk of Heart Disease and Cancer"--headline, Scotsman, Sept...

"Deer on Birth Control Still Getting Pregnant"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 18 Funny, that happened to my deer as well. "Many Churches Heed Bush's Call to Prayer"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 16 That is news?  Maybe they were expecting only Atheists to heed the call? "Some New Orleans Schools to Open on West Bank"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 17 Trading a Hurricane for Suicide Bombers? " 'Second Disaster' May Follow Katrina: Doctors"--headline, Reu...

"Suit Would Protect Woodpecker Habitat"--headline, CNN.com, Sept. 9 Must be made of kevlar! "Bronze-Age Boat Sailors Are Rescued"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 9 Those are some OLD salts! "Soldier Not Killed in Action; Kin Not Told"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 10 Dear Mom. I am not dead.  Love Son. "Senate Moves to Limit Sale of Cold Medicine"--headline, Reuters, Sept. 9 Only luke warm medicine to be sold. "Turkey Nabs Man in Possible Death Plot...

We can't leave our troops in New Orleans any longer... bring them home. Bush Lied about the hurricane.. it wasn't a hurricane, it was the effect of global warming brought on by his refusal to sign the Kyoto Protocol. We were told that the troops would be welcomed with open arms and celebration, but they're facing roving bands of terrorists with guns. Those people obviously don't want us there! It's just a quagmire... And on top of it all, he has no exit strategy!

Junior Senator Hillary Clinton narrowly escaped  injury in the aircraft that she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing  in Southern New Jersey because of bad weather. National Transportation Safety Board officials  have issued a preliminary determination that pilot error contributed to the accident, and that the senator was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR [instrument flight rating] conditions while only havi...

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When  my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."                . . . . . .  She also votes! I use...

"Theory: Mad Cow May Have Come From Humans"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 1 Is this the Darwin theory of reverse evolution? "Researchers: Chimp Is Man's Closest Living Relative"--headline, Seattle Times, Sept. 1 And here I thought it was my sister........ "Chief Justice Last Died in Office in 1953"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 4 I thought you only got one life?  Guess Rehnquist had several. "Roberts Follows Rehnquist's Path"--headline, CNN.com, Sept. 4 L...

"Near the President's Ranch, Protests Expand in the Heat"--headline, Washington Post, Aug. 28 The Law of thermodynamics will not be denied! "Iranian Daredevil Dies in Motorcycle Stunt"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 27 Must have been Ali Bin Evel "Airbus Superjumbo Maiden Flight in Germany Draws 150,000"--headline, Agence France-Presse, Aug. 27 Must be a real SUPERJUMBO Jet! "Franco Says His Faith Keeps Him Going Strong"--headline, Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle, Aug....