"Bridge Over Kennedy to Reopen"--headline, Chicago Tribune, Dec. 27

I have heard of cry me a river, but drink one?

"Rail Operator Begs Motorists to Take Care After Death"--headline, New Zealand Herald, Dec. 24

Kind of late to be taking care after you die.

"Most Kids Will Outgrow Bedwetting: Pediatricians"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 26

The rest will become Bed Wetting adults.

"Sheep Part of Ancestry of Association Leader"--healdine, Billings (Mont.) Gazette, Dec. 27

Gives new meaning to sheep farmers "tending" their flocks!

"Shiites, Kurds Hold Talks on Posts"--headline, Boston Globe, Dec. 28

Chairss would have been more comfortable.

"Does My Bum Look Big in This? Now You Can Ask the Experts!"--headline, Evening Times (Glasgow, Scotland), Dec. 27

Sub Headline: Scottish Experts save Husbands lives!

"Christian Attorney Hails Judge's Decision to Throw Out Nude Bar Owner's Suit"--headline, Agape Press, Dec. 23

Next time, she should wear suit off the rack, and not from God.

"French Hand, Face Transplant Patients Meet"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 23

Guess the new face did not come with any better pick up lines.