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Dr Guy's Articles In Humor
November 24, 2004 by Dr Guy
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at ni...
November 24, 2004 by Dr Guy
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at ni...
December 8, 2004 by Dr Guy
THE START OF A CHRISTMAS TRADITION   One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.  Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found ...
December 8, 2004 by Dr Guy
THE START OF A CHRISTMAS TRADITION   One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.  Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found ...
January 15, 2005 by Dr Guy
On Red Sea crossing: WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE Pursuing Environmentalists Killed On David vs. Goliath: HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock On Elijah on Mt. Carmel: FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY 400 Killed On the birth of Christ: HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple On feeding the 5,000: PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH Disciples Mystified O...
January 15, 2005 by Dr Guy
On Red Sea crossing: WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE Pursuing Environmentalists Killed On David vs. Goliath: HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock On Elijah on Mt. Carmel: FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY 400 Killed On the birth of Christ: HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple On feeding the 5,000: PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH Disciples Mystified O...
January 11, 2005 by Dr Guy
           Excerpts from our National "Beat Up on the French" Day:            "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks, it is a fine          country.  France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ---Mark Twain "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- Gen...
January 11, 2005 by Dr Guy
           Excerpts from our National "Beat Up on the French" Day:            "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks, it is a fine          country.  France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ---Mark Twain "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- Gen...
December 15, 2004 by Dr Guy
I use to be under the impression that it was a dog eat dog world. But dogs are too smart to be canibals!  So instead I bring you 2 whacky stories that can only come about because there are real loons out there! I wonder if story #2 was avenging story #1? ************************************* Man Bites Dog, Many Times GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) — A man has been charged with animal cruelty for allegedly biting his Jack Russell terrier ( search ) as punishment, and police say he use...
December 15, 2004 by Dr Guy
I use to be under the impression that it was a dog eat dog world. But dogs are too smart to be canibals!  So instead I bring you 2 whacky stories that can only come about because there are real loons out there! I wonder if story #2 was avenging story #1? ************************************* Man Bites Dog, Many Times GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) — A man has been charged with animal cruelty for allegedly biting his Jack Russell terrier ( search ) as punishment, and police say he use...
December 11, 2004 by Dr Guy
1)Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.  But I repeat myself.....Mark Twain   2) I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. ........WinstonChurchill   3) A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.  ........George Bernard Shaw 4) A liberal is someone who feels a great d...
December 11, 2004 by Dr Guy
1)Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.  But I repeat myself.....Mark Twain   2) I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. ........WinstonChurchill   3) A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.  ........George Bernard Shaw 4) A liberal is someone who feels a great d...
March 23, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Rice Arrives in China"--headline, Asian News International, March 20 Isn't that like shipping sand to the Middle East? "Early Classes Could Deprive Teens of Sleep, Experts Say"--headline, KVOA Web site (Tucson, Ariz.), March 21 We need Experts to tell us that?  WOW!  I guess Johnny really cant think! "Hitler Was Personally Behind Holocaust, Book Says"--headline, Reuters, March 22 Can I get a D? D Can I get a U? U   Can I get an H? H  ...
March 23, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Rice Arrives in China"--headline, Asian News International, March 20 Isn't that like shipping sand to the Middle East? "Early Classes Could Deprive Teens of Sleep, Experts Say"--headline, KVOA Web site (Tucson, Ariz.), March 21 We need Experts to tell us that?  WOW!  I guess Johnny really cant think! "Hitler Was Personally Behind Holocaust, Book Says"--headline, Reuters, March 22 Can I get a D? D Can I get a U? U   Can I get an H? H  ...
March 22, 2005 by Dr Guy
"McGwire Mum on Steroids"--headline, Oakland Tribune, March 18 Is his dad on Estrogen? "Pilot Ejects Safely After F-16 Crashes at Nellis Air Force Base"--headline, Associated Press, March 18 Why eject after a crash? Did he still get to 'walk away'?