"Leak Leads Gators to Outback Bowl Win"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 2

Wonder what a poop would have done for them?

"Family: Boy, 2, Hit by SUV in Good Condition"--headline, Clarion-Ledger (Jackson, Miss.), Jan. 3

Nice to know the SUV is ok, now how about the poor little boy?

"Topless Women Plan Suit"--headline, Citizen (Auburn, N.Y.), Dec. 31

Hopefully it will be a full suit and not just the bottoms.

"Breast Jobs Divide a Nation"--headline, Age (Melbourne, Australia), Jan. 3

Women got them, Men dont!  Wow!  Who would have thunk it!

"ISU Senior Headed to China to Help 'Exploding' Dairy Industry"--headline, RadioIowa.com, Dec. 30

Well, they got suicide bombers in the Middle east, now they got suicide cows in China?

"Man to Be Sent Back to New Mexico in Explosives Case"--headline, KOB-TV Web site (Albuquerque, N.M.), Dec. 30

Passenger section on a plane would be more preferable!

"Mount St. Helens' Lava Astounds Scientists"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 30

Only scientists would be surprised to find lava in a volcano.

"Archbishop of Washington Recalls Last Pope"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 30

WOW!  Powerful archbishop!  I thought the only the Pope could do a recall!

"Men Are Useless During Childbirth, Scientists Imply"--headline, Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk, Va.), Jan. 1

Pretty important at conception tho!