"Vomiting Bug Hits Over 250 Pupils"--headline, BBC Web site, Dec. 9

That bug has good aim!

"Hispanic Influx Hits Schools Hardest"--headline, Carolina Journal, Dec. 13

Is that like the Spanish Flu?

"Silver Backs Off Under Fire"--headline, New York Post, Dec. 13

The Lone Ranger needs to get a new Horse.

"Policemen Destroy Desk After Python Scare"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 13

Policemen need to undergo snake recognition training.

"Brain Researchers Put a Little Man Into Mice"--headline, Sydney Morning Herald, Dec. 14

That must been Tom Thumb!

"Dow Corning CEO Burns to Become Chairman"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 14

I have heard of burning desires, but not self immolation!

"Millions of Children 'Invisible': UNICEF"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 14

Like my grandfather use to say: "Children should be heard and not seen".  Or was it the other way around?