In another example of GIGO, a poor man in Malaysia has been socked for a $218 trillion (that is 12 zeros) phone bill! Ok, we know that mistakes happen right? Apparently the phone company is not talking about this, as they dont know if it is fraudulent. Excuse me? I doubt that all the phone bills since the birth of Alexander Graham Bell dont add up to $218 trillion! Of course it is a mistake! Geez! You would expect that a company realizes 2 things. One, n...
"High Court Takes Up Case of bin Laden's Driver"--headline, Baltimore Sun, March 28 They failed to consider his putter however. "Texas Police Look in Bars for Signs of Drunkenness"--headline, Washington Times, March 29 Is that like looking for coals in New castle? Sand in Saudi Arabia? "Experts: TV Doesn't Always Know Best"--headline, USA Today, March 29 Everyone knows, that Father Knows Best. "Brain Development and Intelligence Linked, Study Says"--headline, Wash...
"Experts Collide Over Benefits of Cycle Helmets"--headline, Sydney Morning Herald, March 25 Hope they were wearing their helmets. "Avoid Crashing When Traveling Abroad"--headline, ABCNews.com, March 23 Only Crash at home. "Six Busted in Wet T-Shirt Contest"--headline, WJHG-TV Web site (Panama City, Fla.), undated Must have been a disappointing contest if only 6 took part. "Drought Forces Herders to Seek Cattle Through Marriage"--headline, National Public Radio Web site,...
"Chilling Proof That Glacier Meltdown Is Getting Faster"--healdine, Independent (London), March 20 Shouldn't chilling proof slow down meltdowns? "Study Says U.S. Companies Lag on Global Warming"--headline, New York Times, March 22 Maybe they forgot the Chilling Proof? "Column One: Israel's Policy Quacks"--headline, Jerusalem Post, March 17 Does it walk like a duck? "Race to Blast Tourists Into Space Is On"--headline, NewsMax.com, March 20 Use to be they just wante...
"Marijuana Again Tied to Memory Problems"--headline, Reuters, March 13 But hey man! Like who cares? "Motorcyclist Clocked at 155 MPH Jailed"--headline, Associated Press, March 13 Wonder how fast he would have been going on the open road. "Vulcan Raises Earnings Forecast"--headline, MarketWatch.com, March 14 Spock is now a Millionaire. "Will Ferrell Not Dead in Paragliding Accident"--headline, PostChronicle.com, March 14 But Francisco Franco is still dead. ...
"Police: Watch for Man Who Exposes Himself"--healdine, WDIV-TV Web site (Detroit), March 6 Isn't that what he wants? "Make More Money, Berlusconi Tells Poor Italians"--headline, Reuters, March 7 Making more money has worked for the poor every time! "Hummingbirds Have Superb Memories of Last Meals"--headline, Agence France-Presse, March 7 Does this mean they have a llife after death? "Free Porn Weekend--Clermont Fellowship Church"--headline, WFTV Web site (Orlando, Fla.)...
"Yellowstone More Volcanically Active Than Thought, Study Says"--headline, Bloomberg.com, March 1 Oh, I dont know about that. There are plenty of volcanic blasts here at JU! "Hearing Planned in Pizza Delivery Holdup"--headline, Associated Press, March 1 Congress will investigate anything! Now it is cold pizza! "Rabid Organ Brings Suit"--headline, WBAL-AM Web site, March 1 Maybe it should have brought rabies shots! "GSA to Cut 400 Employees in Face of Declini...
"Rene Preval faces a taunting task in impoverished Haiti after being declared the winner of the presidential election."--photo caption, CNN.com, Feb. 17 Does that make him a sore winner? "Officer's Fatal Accident Is His Second"--headline, Courier-Journal (Louisville, Ky.), Feb. 15 He should have stayed dead after the first one. "Lack of New Jobs Mars Growth Outlook"--headline, Financial Times, Feb. 15 Those Martians are just lazy. "Landslide-Hit Village Was Disaster Abo...
"Cocoa May Help Reduce Heart Disease, Cancer, Mars Study Shows"--headline, Bloomberg.com, Feb. 9 Really? So where are the Martian testimonials? "Coyotes Look Distracted in Loss to Dallas"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 10 Coyotes in Dallas? Of Course they are distracted! No cacti to water! "U.S. Skeleton Athlete Is Barred From Olympics"--headline, New York Times, Feb. 10 Some Atheletes just go too far in their training. Maybe if he puts on some ...
"Alaskans Battle Over Invasive Weed"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 3 Maui Wowie moves north! "Paper Shredders May Hurt Kids' Hands"--headline, WebMD.com, Feb. 6 Doesn't do much for their fingers either! "Judge to Decide Whether to Halt Ark. Project to Protect Bird"--headline, Log Cabin Democrat (Conway, Ark.), Feb. 7 If Noah would have had Judges, he would have drowned! "Boxer Urges Sheehan to Not Challenge Feinstein"--headline, San Francisco Chronicle, Feb. 7 ...
Disclaimer for the dense. That is not me.
Not wanting to delay, the GOP commited another boner and selected John Boehner as their new leader! Though Boehner is not a real republican as he does not have a scandal attached to him, the democrats have decided that a Boehner deserves a boner as they sound the same. They were quick to point out that since he was a republican he is responsible for all the scandals that have not been proved, alledged or charged. But you know those wascally wepublicans! John Boehner had no comm...
"Hurricanes Acquire Weight From Blues"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 30 Depressed hurricanes eat more? "Prince of Wales Blames Poor Town Planning for Rise in Obesity"--headline, LeisureOpportunities.co.uk, Jan. 30 He is the prince of whales and he is worried about Obesity? Tell Shamu that! "Hornets to Return to Oklahoma City"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 31 Bees and wasps to follow. "Lindsay Lohan in Stitches After Slip"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. ...
In a surprise statement, the leader of the Orthodox Druid religion blasted members of the Reformed Druids. In his Statement, Leif R. Godsen said that teaching young druids that worshipping bushes is totally inconsistent with the teachings and education of the core Druid Religion. He called upon all druids to reject the policy in their education of bush Worshipping,saying that only through bark can one attain the true spirit of God and "bushes dont have bark, much less bite". The leader ...