"Hurricanes Acquire Weight From Blues"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 30

Depressed hurricanes eat more?

"Prince of Wales Blames Poor Town Planning for Rise in Obesity"--headline, LeisureOpportunities.co.uk, Jan. 30

He is the prince of whales and he is worried about Obesity?  Tell Shamu that!

"Hornets to Return to Oklahoma City"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 31

Bees and wasps to follow.

"Lindsay Lohan in Stitches After Slip"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 31

Someone is reviving slapstick comedy.

"Black, Decker Receive Elections Board Subpoenas to Testify"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 2

I am sure they will be Drilled on the subject.

"Bill Lowers Surgery Center Hurdle"--headline, Columbia (Mo.) Daily Tribune, Feb. 2

I hope it is not a knee surgery center!

And for the bonus, a clear cut case of a leak here! 

"Mayor Michael Bloomberg . . . anonymously donated $100 million Thursday to Johns Hopkins University to support stem cell research. . . . A person familiar with his philanthropy confirmed the latest $100 million gift on condition of anonymity, citing Bloomberg's desire for privacy."--Associated Press, Feb. 2

I think that person familiar with it should be fired as well!