"Marijuana Again Tied to Memory Problems"--headline, Reuters, March 13

But hey man!  Like who cares?

"Motorcyclist Clocked at 155 MPH Jailed"--headline, Associated Press, March 13

Wonder how fast he would have been going on the open road.

"Vulcan Raises Earnings Forecast"--headline, MarketWatch.com, March 14

Spock is now a Millionaire.

"Will Ferrell Not Dead in Paragliding Accident"--headline, PostChronicle.com, March 14

But Francisco Franco is still dead.

"Hot Pepper Kills Prostate Cancer Cells in Study"--headline, Reuters, March 15

Gives new meaning to a warm enema!

"Wallace to Stop Being '60 Minutes' Regular"--headline, Associated Press, March 14

Geritol works for most people.

"Democrat Seeks to Dump Lieberman Over Iraq"--headline, MSNBC.com, March 16

It seems they have invented a new biological weapon!

"Boswell Says Offensive in Iraq Could Be Good or Bad"--headline, RadioIowa.com, March 16

Boswell could be right or wrong.

"First Lady Toasts Afghan Author"--headline, Associated Press, March 16

Isn't that taking flame wars a little too far?

"Flying Cow Leaves Two Police Cars in Flames"--headline, WOAI-AM/TV Web site (San Antonio), March 17

Maybe they should have used Lieberman instead of a cow?