"Chilling Proof That Glacier Meltdown Is Getting Faster"--healdine, Independent (London), March 20

Shouldn't chilling proof slow down meltdowns?

"Study Says U.S. Companies Lag on Global Warming"--headline, New York Times, March 22

Maybe they forgot the Chilling Proof?

"Column One: Israel's Policy Quacks"--headline, Jerusalem Post, March 17

Does it walk like a duck?

"Race to Blast Tourists Into Space Is On"--headline, NewsMax.com, March 20

Use to be they just wanted to blast people to smithereens.

"Annapolis Welcomes Spring by Burning Socks"--headline, Associated Press, March 20

Maybe a donation of laudry detergent so they could wash them occassionally during the winter?

"At 30, Apple still has appeal" -- Headline, CNN, March 27

Must be a very desicated peal!

"Wily Coyote Captured in Central Park"--headline, Associated Press, March 22

Acme posts bail with new Bail-o-Meter.

"South Pacific Volcano Stops Search for Man"--headline, Associated Press, March 22

"Halt, or I will blow my top!"