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Dr Guy's Articles In Humor » Page 28
June 21, 2005 by Dr Guy
"White House Rejects Call for Iraq Withdrawal"--headline, AFX (Agence France-Presse financial wire), June 13 There are rejects in the White House calling for an Iraq Withdrawal?  Perhaps they should read "Punctuation is our friend" "Bin Laden Not Believed in Afghanistan"--headline, Associated Press, June 16 War on Terror working!  Bin Laden not believed in a lot of places now! "U.N. Probe: Blast Killed Lebanon's Hariri"--headline, Associated Press, June ...
June 21, 2005 by Dr Guy
"White House Rejects Call for Iraq Withdrawal"--headline, AFX (Agence France-Presse financial wire), June 13 There are rejects in the White House calling for an Iraq Withdrawal?  Perhaps they should read "Punctuation is our friend" "Bin Laden Not Believed in Afghanistan"--headline, Associated Press, June 16 War on Terror working!  Bin Laden not believed in a lot of places now! "U.N. Probe: Blast Killed Lebanon's Hariri"--headline, Associated Press, June ...
June 20, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Boy's Death Moves City Panel to Favor Required Neutering"--headline, San Francisco Chronicle, June 10 Isn't it kind of late for neutering now? "Rare Bomb Explosions Kill Nine in Iran"--headline, Associated Press, June 12 Morale?  Leave bomb collecting to the experts! "Experts See Rage in Brutal Murder"--headline, Home News Tribune (East Brunswick, N.J.), June 12 Rage?  I would say there was some hatred as well! "Experts Try to Open Doors for Stem Cells"--headlin...
June 20, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Boy's Death Moves City Panel to Favor Required Neutering"--headline, San Francisco Chronicle, June 10 Isn't it kind of late for neutering now? "Rare Bomb Explosions Kill Nine in Iran"--headline, Associated Press, June 12 Morale?  Leave bomb collecting to the experts! "Experts See Rage in Brutal Murder"--headline, Home News Tribune (East Brunswick, N.J.), June 12 Rage?  I would say there was some hatred as well! "Experts Try to Open Doors for Stem Cells"--headlin...
June 20, 2005 by Dr Guy
A husband walks into Fredrick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and take the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, I'll do the mo...
June 20, 2005 by Dr Guy
A husband walks into Fredrick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and take the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, I'll do the mo...
June 20, 2005 by Dr Guy
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay. Gir...
June 20, 2005 by Dr Guy
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay. Gir...
November 21, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Downer to Meet Rice"--headline, Daily Telegraph (Australia), Nov. 16 She must be so busy, she has to schedule her blue times as well! "Second Helping of Sheehan for Thanksgiving"--headline, Waco (Texas) Tribune-Herald, Nov. 15 Well, that proves she is a turkey! "Car Torching a Tradition in France"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16 An ancient tradition, started about 3 weeks ago? "State Department Building Evacuated for Major Water Leak"--headline, WJLA-TV Web site (...
November 21, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Downer to Meet Rice"--headline, Daily Telegraph (Australia), Nov. 16 She must be so busy, she has to schedule her blue times as well! "Second Helping of Sheehan for Thanksgiving"--headline, Waco (Texas) Tribune-Herald, Nov. 15 Well, that proves she is a turkey! "Car Torching a Tradition in France"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16 An ancient tradition, started about 3 weeks ago? "State Department Building Evacuated for Major Water Leak"--headline, WJLA-TV Web site (...
November 18, 2005 by Dr Guy
"France Takes New Steps to Fight Global Warming"--headline, Reuters, Nov. 15 I understand that cars are a cause of global warming, but burning them seems to defeat the purpose. "U.S. Attorney General Condemns Torture at Sydney Press Conference"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 14 Them Aussies can be mean! "Retail Sales Outside of Autos Post Gains"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 15 Inside of Autos, people are too busy Driving. "Sauerkraut Could Fight Bird Flu, Say S...
November 18, 2005 by Dr Guy
"France Takes New Steps to Fight Global Warming"--headline, Reuters, Nov. 15 I understand that cars are a cause of global warming, but burning them seems to defeat the purpose. "U.S. Attorney General Condemns Torture at Sydney Press Conference"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 14 Them Aussies can be mean! "Retail Sales Outside of Autos Post Gains"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 15 Inside of Autos, people are too busy Driving. "Sauerkraut Could Fight Bird Flu, Say S...
November 16, 2005 by Dr Guy
"A Year Later, Arafat Mourners Are Subdued"--headline, New York Times, Nov. 11 And Francisco Franco is still dead. "When Experts Need Experts"--headline, New York Times, Nov. 10 Followup:  When novices need novices. "CDC: More Flu Vaccine Should Ease Shortage"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 10 And all the while I thought that more vaccine caused the shortage!  Gorrrllleeeee! "Seventies Oatmeal Still Tastes OK"--headline, Wired News, Nov. 14 WHo wants ...
November 16, 2005 by Dr Guy
"A Year Later, Arafat Mourners Are Subdued"--headline, New York Times, Nov. 11 And Francisco Franco is still dead. "When Experts Need Experts"--headline, New York Times, Nov. 10 Followup:  When novices need novices. "CDC: More Flu Vaccine Should Ease Shortage"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 10 And all the while I thought that more vaccine caused the shortage!  Gorrrllleeeee! "Seventies Oatmeal Still Tastes OK"--headline, Wired News, Nov. 14 WHo wants ...
November 14, 2005 by Dr Guy
Yes!  Not Woodward of Bernstein, but little old me!  And it is insidious!  Worse than you can imagine!  And do you know who created this method? The Swedes!  Those peace loving people!  yea right! (They did invent dynamite too!).  So who wants to know the method!  I warn you now, those of the weak stomach, STOP READING! When we started preparing Gitmo for the terrorists, it had nothing!  So the GIs built the cells.  No big deal. Take some c...