"Cocoa May Help Reduce Heart Disease, Cancer, Mars Study Shows"--headline, Bloomberg.com, Feb. 9

Really?  So where are the Martian testimonials?

"Coyotes Look Distracted in Loss to Dallas"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 10

Coyotes in Dallas?  Of Course they are distracted!  No cacti to water!

"U.S. Skeleton Athlete Is Barred From Olympics"--headline, New York Times, Feb. 10

Some Atheletes just go too far in their training.  Maybe if he puts on some weight, he can come back.

"On Podium, Some Say, Mrs. Clinton Is No Mr. Clinton"--headline, New York Times, Feb. 13

I guess some dont have a problem with Gender identification.

"Texans Poised to Select Bush"--headline, Hartford Courant, Feb. 11

I thought they already did that back in the 90s.  I did not know he was running there again.

"Bugs Could Be Key to Kicking Oil Addiction"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 12

Hey, What's Up Doc!  Told you that Cawwot Juice was good for you! Hehehehehehe

"Sigourney Weaver on the Leading Killer of Women"--headline, ABCNews.com, Feb. 12

Stay on him Signourney!  Until the cops can grab him!