"Ex-Con Running From Police Dies in Fall"--headline, WINS-AM Web site (New York), March 24 Why did they wait 6 months to report it? Wasn't it news in the fall as well? "Shooter Seemed to Target Victims, Teen Says"--headline, Boston Globe, March 25 WOW! Really? He did not target non victims? Goorrrllleeeee "BP: Texas Plant 'Safe,' Death Toll at 15"--headline, Reuters, March 24 Wonder what the death toll would be at an unsafe plant? "T...
"Library for Blind Sees No Patrons in 9 Months"--headline, China Daily (Beijing), March 24 Betcha the patrons did not see any libraries either! "Minority Firm Led by a Dead Woman: County reviews company's qualifications for program"--headline, Chicago Tribune, March 26 Qualifications for Program? They should check out the Qualifications of a dead woman running a company!
Swank fined for bearing forbidden fruit - CNN.com - March 29, 2005 Did she give birth to an Apple? Swarming Sharks Close Florida Beaches - Foxnews - Wednesday, March 30, 2005 And who gave them the Authority? I thought that was the sole Authority of Chief Brody. "Schiavo Losing Weight, Her Parents' Attorney Says"--headline, Internet Broadcasting Systems, March 28 We need an attorney to tell us that? Guess Common sense is against the law now. "College Faculties a Most ...
Upon Learning that the Pope was on a feeding tube, Michael Schiavo declared he would take it to court and file an amicus brief ti have the tube removed. "What is good for the gander, is good for the goose." Michael declared of his actions. A strong death proponent, he has stated that no one should suffer with a feeding tube stuck in them as it is cruel and unusual punishment. Where as "starvation and dehydration is much more Humane. After the death of his wife, Michael has also st...
"Report: Three Panthers Filled Steroid Prescriptions With S.C. Doctor"--headline, Associated Press, March 29 The Pharmacist shortage is getting severe when they have to resort to cats to do the work! "Philip Morris to Pay $18.8 in Smoking Case"--headline, Associated Press, March 29 Anyone got change for a twenty? "Harvard Study: Hitler Held Grudges, Craved Attention"--headline, Associated Press, March 29 Can I get a big DUH! No wonder they are slamming th...
From the LA Times, a correction: An article in Tuesday's California section about hazing at Cal State Chico mistakenly said that a pledge to a fraternity at nearby Butte Community College died of alcohol poisoning. He did not die but was hospitalized. The article also said Chico has a population of 35,000; according to the city, the population is 71,317. In addition, University President Paul Zingg was quoted saying the school would shut down its Greek system if problems with hazing did not...
"Vermont Considers Doctor-Assisted Suicide"--headline, United Press International, March 30 Well, that will kind of eliminate Howard Dean's support base. "Millions of U.S. Kids Live With a Substance-Abusing Adult"--headline, FoxNews.com, March 31 We have to find that Adult! "Update: Hurd Promises 'Execution-Oriented Culture' at HP"--headline, Computerworld, March 30 Isn't that taking layoffs a little too far? "Why Sex Is Good for the Species: Process ...
"For the second time in a week, a woman was killed after being struck by passing cars while attempting to run across a busy Houston freeway."--Houston Chronicle, April 1 The Second coming of Lazarus? She should have learned the first time. "Teen Jailed After Violating Order ;akljdf ;alkdjf"--headline, Lexington (Ky.) Herald-Leader, April 1 Some papers just dont know how to cuss. "L.A.-Area Tsunami Could Cause Massive Damage--Study"--headline, Reuters, March 31 They need...
"Schiavo Case Evolved Into Huge News Story"--headline, Associated Press, April 2 No wonder no one listens to the MSM. They were just realizing that on April 2? "Terrorism Case Puts Words of Muslim Leader On Trial in Va."--headline, Washington Post, April 4 If convicted, do they cut out his tongue and lock it up? "College Students Download in Dorm Rooms"--headline, Associated Press, April 2 I heard that they also Upload there! "Rats Like to Be Tickled, ...
WASHINGTON, DC --- Ted Kennedy, who was recently declared brain-dead by his physician, is fighting for his life. The Senator's family is trying to have his feeding tube removed to allow him to die a sober death. The tube, attached to a bottle of vodka and a bottle of gin, has been utilized by the senator for his entire adult life. Medical experts believe removal will almost certainly result in death. "This is a very complex situation," said one medical expert. "Senator...
"Pope to Be Buried Under Ground"--headline, United Press International, April 5 As opposed to where? "Hospitals Scrambling to Meet Nurse Ratio"--headline, Associated Press, April 5 That is one popular Nurse! Any Relation to Nurse Ratchet? "Booty, Hinds Find Their Comfort Zone"--headline, Los Angeles Times, April 4 Would that be in a chair, perhaps? "Rush to Buy 'Wrong Date' Souvenirs"--headline, CNN.com, April 6 Boy, they probably follow Limbaugh to...
1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive. 2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew. 3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs. 4. Prolong the life of razors by...
"Having more than one nomination could have made things harder, or easier."--Sen. Charles Schumer (D., N.Y.), July 14 Way to be decisive! "Muslim Support for bin Laden Drops"--headline, CBSNews.com, July 14 Maybe he should get an Athletic supporter then "New London Bombing Arrest: Report"--headline, Daily Telegraph (Australia), July 14 Boy! They must really hate that Emminent Domain SCOTUS Ruling! "Experts in 2005 predict that Alabama will have had a black governor b...
I never dreamed slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did I suspect. I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there wa...