WASHINGTON, DC --- Ted Kennedy, who was recently declared brain-dead by his physician, is fighting for his life.  The Senator's family is trying to have his feeding tube removed to allow him to die a sober death.  The tube, attached to a bottle of vodka and a bottle of gin, has been utilized by the senator for his entire adult life.  Medical experts believe removal will almost certainly result in death.

"This is a very complex situation," said one medical expert.  "Senator Kennedy appears to be functioning normally to many people, but it is quite obvious that the man is brain-dead by his public comments.  Most of us in the medical community think he should be allowed to have a dignified death by sobering him up and removing his feeding tube."