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Dr Guy's Articles In Humor » Page 9
April 21, 2005 by Dr Guy
Well, after a short hiatus (Editors got better I guess) it is back! "Chirac Makes Case for EU Treaty"--headline, BBC Web site, April 15 Is the case going to hold the treaty? "Police Hold Woman Over Deadly Paris Hotel Fire"--headline, Reuters, April 18 Is that how you make a lady do a slow burn? "Thousands Circumcised in Morocco"--headline, Associated Press, April 14 Mass Circumcision. What will the Rev Moon think of next. "WHO: Virus Sent to Mexico, Leban...
April 21, 2005 by Dr Guy
Well, after a short hiatus (Editors got better I guess) it is back! "Chirac Makes Case for EU Treaty"--headline, BBC Web site, April 15 Is the case going to hold the treaty? "Police Hold Woman Over Deadly Paris Hotel Fire"--headline, Reuters, April 18 Is that how you make a lady do a slow burn? "Thousands Circumcised in Morocco"--headline, Associated Press, April 14 Mass Circumcision. What will the Rev Moon think of next. "WHO: Virus Sent to Mexico, Leban...
April 18, 2005 by Dr Guy
NASA Fuels Shuttle Discovery - Foxnews April 14, 2005 And I always thought the Shuttles were made, not discovered. "Should Hillary Clinton Run for Presidents?"--headline, Associated Press, April 12 I guess THE President's job is not enough for the smartest woman on the planet. "According to monkeys, high taxes can make us work less and live more, writes Ross Gittins."--subheadline, the Age (Melbourne, Australia), April 14 Something even monkeys understand.  I wonder...
April 18, 2005 by Dr Guy
NASA Fuels Shuttle Discovery - Foxnews April 14, 2005 And I always thought the Shuttles were made, not discovered. "Should Hillary Clinton Run for Presidents?"--headline, Associated Press, April 12 I guess THE President's job is not enough for the smartest woman on the planet. "According to monkeys, high taxes can make us work less and live more, writes Ross Gittins."--subheadline, the Age (Melbourne, Australia), April 14 Something even monkeys understand.  I wonder...
April 14, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Study Suggests Geography Favored Kerry"--headline, Rocky Mountain News, April 8 Guess they have not learned that land cannot vote.  Maybe a new amendment to the constitution would fix this problem? "Woman Says ME Took Her Brother's Brain"--headline, Associated Press, April 8 I NEVER!  I did not take it! "Rabid Raccoon Confirmed in Nassau County"--headline, WINS-AM Web site (New York), April 12 Boy, I guess the Catholic Church is hard up for membership! And now f...
April 14, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Study Suggests Geography Favored Kerry"--headline, Rocky Mountain News, April 8 Guess they have not learned that land cannot vote.  Maybe a new amendment to the constitution would fix this problem? "Woman Says ME Took Her Brother's Brain"--headline, Associated Press, April 8 I NEVER!  I did not take it! "Rabid Raccoon Confirmed in Nassau County"--headline, WINS-AM Web site (New York), April 12 Boy, I guess the Catholic Church is hard up for membership! And now f...
April 12, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Court: There's No Constitutional Right to a Lap Dance"--headline, Associated Press , April 5 We need a ruling for the court to know that??????? "An Awful Void Is Left After John Paul II"--headline, New York Sun , April 6 "Two Young Cubs Can Fill the Void"--headline, New York Sun , April 6 I knew the Pope was a bear of a man, but did not know they had already held the elections! "Woman Photographs Swan, Finds Hand Stuck in Ice"--headline, Reu...
April 12, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Court: There's No Constitutional Right to a Lap Dance"--headline, Associated Press , April 5 We need a ruling for the court to know that??????? "An Awful Void Is Left After John Paul II"--headline, New York Sun , April 6 "Two Young Cubs Can Fill the Void"--headline, New York Sun , April 6 I knew the Pope was a bear of a man, but did not know they had already held the elections! "Woman Photographs Swan, Finds Hand Stuck in Ice"--headline, Reu...
April 11, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Pope to Be Buried Under Ground"--headline, United Press International, April 5 As opposed to where? "Hospitals Scrambling to Meet Nurse Ratio"--headline, Associated Press, April 5 That is one popular Nurse!  Any Relation to Nurse Ratchet? "Booty, Hinds Find Their Comfort Zone"--headline, Los Angeles Times, April 4 Would that be in a chair, perhaps? "Rush to Buy 'Wrong Date' Souvenirs"--headline, CNN.com, April 6 Boy, they probably follow Limbaugh to...
April 11, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Pope to Be Buried Under Ground"--headline, United Press International, April 5 As opposed to where? "Hospitals Scrambling to Meet Nurse Ratio"--headline, Associated Press, April 5 That is one popular Nurse!  Any Relation to Nurse Ratchet? "Booty, Hinds Find Their Comfort Zone"--headline, Los Angeles Times, April 4 Would that be in a chair, perhaps? "Rush to Buy 'Wrong Date' Souvenirs"--headline, CNN.com, April 6 Boy, they probably follow Limbaugh to...
April 7, 2005 by Dr Guy
WASHINGTON, DC --- Ted Kennedy, who was recently declared brain-dead by his physician, is fighting for his life.  The Senator's family is trying to have his feeding tube removed to allow him to die a sober death.  The tube, attached to a bottle of vodka and a bottle of gin, has been utilized by the senator for his entire adult life.  Medical experts believe removal will almost certainly result in death. "This is a very complex situation," said one medical expert.  "Senator...
April 7, 2005 by Dr Guy
WASHINGTON, DC --- Ted Kennedy, who was recently declared brain-dead by his physician, is fighting for his life.  The Senator's family is trying to have his feeding tube removed to allow him to die a sober death.  The tube, attached to a bottle of vodka and a bottle of gin, has been utilized by the senator for his entire adult life.  Medical experts believe removal will almost certainly result in death. "This is a very complex situation," said one medical expert.  "Senator...
April 7, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Schiavo Case Evolved Into Huge News Story"--headline, Associated Press, April 2 No wonder no one listens to the MSM.  They were just realizing that on April 2? "Terrorism Case Puts Words of Muslim Leader On Trial in Va."--headline, Washington Post, April 4 If convicted, do they cut out his tongue and lock it up? "College Students Download in Dorm Rooms"--headline, Associated Press, April 2 I heard that they also Upload there! "Rats Like to Be Tickled, ...
April 7, 2005 by Dr Guy
"Schiavo Case Evolved Into Huge News Story"--headline, Associated Press, April 2 No wonder no one listens to the MSM.  They were just realizing that on April 2? "Terrorism Case Puts Words of Muslim Leader On Trial in Va."--headline, Washington Post, April 4 If convicted, do they cut out his tongue and lock it up? "College Students Download in Dorm Rooms"--headline, Associated Press, April 2 I heard that they also Upload there! "Rats Like to Be Tickled, ...
April 5, 2005 by Dr Guy
"For the second time in a week, a woman was killed after being struck by passing cars while attempting to run across a busy Houston freeway."--Houston Chronicle, April 1 The Second coming of Lazarus?  She should have learned the first time. "Teen Jailed After Violating Order ;akljdf ;alkdjf"--headline, Lexington (Ky.) Herald-Leader, April 1 Some papers just dont know how to cuss. "L.A.-Area Tsunami Could Cause Massive Damage--Study"--headline, Reuters, March 31 They need...