Swank fined for bearing forbidden fruit - CNN.com - March 29, 2005

Did she give birth to an Apple?

Swarming Sharks Close Florida Beaches - Foxnews - Wednesday, March 30, 2005

And who gave them the Authority? I thought that was the sole Authority of Chief Brody.

"Schiavo Losing Weight, Her Parents' Attorney Says"--headline, Internet Broadcasting Systems, March 28

We need an attorney to tell us that?  Guess Common sense is against the law now.

"College Faculties a Most Liberal Lot, Study Says"--headline, Washington Post, March 29

From another member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

"Candles Recalled Because of Flame Risk"--headline, Associated Press, March 28

Guess Lighters are next?

"Steady Rains Lead to Flooding Concerns"--headline, WMUR-TV Web site (Manchester, N.H.), March 28

And here I thought it was all due to Global Warming!  Shazaaam!