"Defense Contractors Weigh Majority Leader Murtha"--headline, The Hill, Oct. 11 What's a Murtha weigh?  About 12 stones. "Bush to the Rescue as Saints Oust Bucs"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 8 What happened to seperation of Church and State? "Ducks to Test Coyotes' Toughness"--headline, East Valley Tribune (Mesa, Ariz.), Oct. 7 "Hey Daffy, Pass the tenderizer.  This one is still a little stringy." "Tigers Agree to Resume Peace Talks"--headline, CNN.com, O...

"Defense Contractors Weigh Majority Leader Murtha"--headline, The Hill, Oct. 11 What's a Murtha weigh?  About 12 stones. "Bush to the Rescue as Saints Oust Bucs"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 8 What happened to seperation of Church and State? "Ducks to Test Coyotes' Toughness"--headline, East Valley Tribune (Mesa, Ariz.), Oct. 7 "Hey Daffy, Pass the tenderizer.  This one is still a little stringy." "Tigers Agree to Resume Peace Talks"--headline, CNN.com, O...

"Mad Deer Disease May Spread With Saliva"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 5 I thought they called that the "Kissing Disease". "Man Still Critical After Getting Stuck in Tub of Dough"--headline, KGW-TV Web site (Portland, Ore.), Oct. 6 I would be mad if I was stuck in dough too! "EEOC Moves to Stem Decline in Disabled Workforce"--headline, Washington Post, Oct. 6 Are they going to break some legs? "Crocs Can Pose a Danger on Escalators"--headline, ABCNews.com, Oct. 5 ...

"Mad Deer Disease May Spread With Saliva"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 5 I thought they called that the "Kissing Disease". "Man Still Critical After Getting Stuck in Tub of Dough"--headline, KGW-TV Web site (Portland, Ore.), Oct. 6 I would be mad if I was stuck in dough too! "EEOC Moves to Stem Decline in Disabled Workforce"--headline, Washington Post, Oct. 6 Are they going to break some legs? "Crocs Can Pose a Danger on Escalators"--headline, ABCNews.com, Oct. 5 ...

"Clown Running for Mayor of Alameda"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 3 Isn't that the case in evry electio? "Boxer Goes Naked to Make Weight for World Title Fight"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 3 But who would want to see Barbara Naked? "Father, Son Sentenced in Ark. Xmas Eve Barn Burglary"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 29 Noah better stay off that grape juice! "Ark. Woman Finds Skunk Under House"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 2 Probably Noah after he tied...

"Clown Running for Mayor of Alameda"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 3 Isn't that the case in evry electio? "Boxer Goes Naked to Make Weight for World Title Fight"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 3 But who would want to see Barbara Naked? "Father, Son Sentenced in Ark. Xmas Eve Barn Burglary"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 29 Noah better stay off that grape juice! "Ark. Woman Finds Skunk Under House"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 2 Probably Noah after he tied...

"Judge Rules Dog Comment 'Stupid' but Not a Lawsuit"--headline, Detroit Free Press, Sept. 28 The dog had no comment. "Car Salesman Accused of Machete Attack"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 26 "No Cletus!  We slash prices, not Customers!" "Augmented Breasts Will Require Additional Inspection at Airports"--headline, TravelGearBlog.com, Sept. 27 My application is already in the mail. "Dead Man Ignored Police Order"--headline, Arizona Republic, Sept. 23 "Sarg...

"Judge Rules Dog Comment 'Stupid' but Not a Lawsuit"--headline, Detroit Free Press, Sept. 28 The dog had no comment. "Car Salesman Accused of Machete Attack"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 26 "No Cletus!  We slash prices, not Customers!" "Augmented Breasts Will Require Additional Inspection at Airports"--headline, TravelGearBlog.com, Sept. 27 My application is already in the mail. "Dead Man Ignored Police Order"--headline, Arizona Republic, Sept. 23 "Sarg...

"9/11 Workers to Be Autopsied When They Die"--headline, MSNBC.com, Sept. 20 I am sure they are happy for the delay. "Lawyers Debate What Letter Comes After K"--headline, Concord (N.H.) Monitor, Sept. 21 Leave it to lawyers to try to rewrite the Alphabet. "Man Jailed for Beheading Girlfriend's Kitten"--headline, CNN.com, Sept. 20 I hope it was in the Dog Pound. "Senate Weighs 700-Mile Fence Along Border"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 21 They say it is a ton a ...

"9/11 Workers to Be Autopsied When They Die"--headline, MSNBC.com, Sept. 20 I am sure they are happy for the delay. "Lawyers Debate What Letter Comes After K"--headline, Concord (N.H.) Monitor, Sept. 21 Leave it to lawyers to try to rewrite the Alphabet. "Man Jailed for Beheading Girlfriend's Kitten"--headline, CNN.com, Sept. 20 I hope it was in the Dog Pound. "Senate Weighs 700-Mile Fence Along Border"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 21 They say it is a ton a ...

"McDonald's Throws Weight Behind Obesity Research"--headline, Reuters, Sept. 13 Wouldn't that be behind, in front of, and beside Obesity? "Bottled Water Beats Cancer in a Lab Study"--headline, BeverageDaily.com, Sept. 15 If it was not unanimous, I wonder how many chose cancer? "Community on Alert After Reported Fox Attacks"--headline, WXII-TV Web site (Winston-Salem, N.C.), Sept. 15 So much for Fair and Balanced. "Japanese Cult Leader's Appeal Rejected"--headline, Assoc...

"McDonald's Throws Weight Behind Obesity Research"--headline, Reuters, Sept. 13 Wouldn't that be behind, in front of, and beside Obesity? "Bottled Water Beats Cancer in a Lab Study"--headline, BeverageDaily.com, Sept. 15 If it was not unanimous, I wonder how many chose cancer? "Community on Alert After Reported Fox Attacks"--headline, WXII-TV Web site (Winston-Salem, N.C.), Sept. 15 So much for Fair and Balanced. "Japanese Cult Leader's Appeal Rejected"--headline, Assoc...

"Scientists Warn of 'Mad Honey Disease' "--headline, Independent (London), Sept. 10 That is more politically correct than Mad Cow I guess. "French Broad Is Focus of Race"--headline, Asheville (N.C.) Citizen-Times, Sept. 9 First one to the finish line gets the Broad. "50 Cent Lamborghini Ride Leads to Ticket"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 8 I got 50 cents, can I have a ride? "Richmond OKs Prostitution-Free Zones"--headline, Richmond Times-Dispatch, Sept. 12 So...

"Scientists Warn of 'Mad Honey Disease' "--headline, Independent (London), Sept. 10 That is more politically correct than Mad Cow I guess. "French Broad Is Focus of Race"--headline, Asheville (N.C.) Citizen-Times, Sept. 9 First one to the finish line gets the Broad. "50 Cent Lamborghini Ride Leads to Ticket"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 8 I got 50 cents, can I have a ride? "Richmond OKs Prostitution-Free Zones"--headline, Richmond Times-Dispatch, Sept. 12 So...

"Sexually Violent Predator Meeting Planned"--headline, Rocky Mountain News (Denver), Sept. 5 That is one way to round them up! "Police Hoping to Expose Serial Flasher"--headline, KYW-TV Web site (Philadelphia), Sept. 5 Isn't that like selling sand to Arabs? "US Envoy Says NKorea Talks in Bad Way"--headline, Agence France-Presse, Sept. 6 Those potty mouths are everywhere! "NAVAL BLOCKADE: 9 Warships Seal Off Sulu"--headline, Tempo (Philippines), Sept. 7 Scotty not...