This is a question on a standardized test for 7th graders in North Carolina.  Can anyone tell me what is wrong with it? (non-americans can be excused if they do not know) The team opened with a 6-yard loss, a 3-yard gain and a 2-yard loss, which would have made it fourth down with 15 yards to go for a first down. The team's fourth play was just a 7-yard gain, and the next 2 plays were a 12-yard gain and a 4-yard gain. What was the average gain for the teams first 6 plays? ...

"Snow Leopards Spotted on Top of World"--headline, CNN.com, May 23 I always wondered where they got their spots from. "Experts Wait for the Bird Flu Jump"--headline, Indian Express, May 23 Is that like a Frog jump Flu? "S. Africa Woman Killed by Partner Every 6 Hours--Study"--headline, Reuters, May 24 You think after the first couple of times, she would have learned to get a new Partner. "Karzai to Make Nebraska Stop"--headline, Associated Press, May 25 I did not know i...

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?   GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.   FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?   GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.   FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you...

"Pelosi Weds in Prison"--headline, Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.), Jan. 19 Now that is a new term for the House of Representatives. "Experts Tell How to Cut Foreclosures"--headline, Charlotte Observer, Jan. 18 Pay the Bills!  Duh! "Study Finds Fire Retardant in Great Lakes"--headline, United Press International, Jan. 14 I think that is called Water. "Students Find Housing On and Off Campus"--headline, Daily Texan (University of Texas at Austin), Jan. 18 Does thi...

"Study Traces 3.5 Million Jews to 4 Women"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 13 Oy!  They are some busy women! "With No Snow, Skiing and Snowmobiling Are on Hold"--headline, Herald Times (Manitowoc, Wis.), Jan. 13 But grass burns are all the rage! "Sharks Silence Powerful Senators"--headline, San Jose Mercury News, Jan. 13 Professional Courtesy? "Screening for Prostate Cancer May Not Reduce Men's Risk of Death"--headline, press release, Yale University, Jan. 9 ...

A friend forwarded this to me, and I about died laughing!  I did not know they made sex toys like that! But the best line must have been made in a monotone voice by the spokesman: "We like to think that shopping with us is exciting enough already." For your monday morning reading pleasure! Laugh it up!

"Midlife Obesity Raises Later Risk of Death: Study"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 10 Greater than 100%?  No one gets out of life alive! "15 Pct of Workforce Affected by Alcohol: Study"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 10 85% can hold their liquor I guess. "One-Eyed Cat Had Medical Condition"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 10 Let me guess - the other eye? "Federal Gov't Installs Pole Barriers at Mexican Border"--headline, FoxNews.com, Jan. 11 They would probably be more...

And I bring you....Fire!  Yep!  The new year is but 2 weeks old and I have toasted more systems than you will ever own! Yep!  It is all my fault!  And I pulled their sorry arses out of the hell fire! Documentation does not matter.  Diagnostics do not matter!  Just your opinion!  And if you are wrong?  DOnt sweat it!  You got me to blame, even when I have documentable proof you are a jerk and arse hole! So dont worry, be happy!  Your rec...

In what has to be one of the funnier edicts in the religion of Islam, a former dean of law at Al Azhar University, Rashad Hassan Khalil has decreed that full nudity during the act of copulation, with a spouse no less, invalidates the marriage! Well, looking at some women (since I am a man - you women can use your own anecdotes), I think that looking at some of them fully nude would turn me off of sex, but invalidate a marriage?  Please!  They married each other to begin with, so the...

"Ford VP: 'Change or Die' "--headline, Detroit News, Jan. 5 Damn, that is a tough work environment! "Turkey Says Dead Boy Had Bird Flu"--headline, CNN.com, Jan. 4 I guess Turkeys are experts on Bird Flu. "Central Fla. Doctors See Spike in Cases of Sore Throats"--headline, WKMG-TV Web site (Orlando), Jan. 5 Kids wil swallow anything these days. "12-Year-Old Tina Enjoys Being a Girl"--headline, Arizona Republic, Jan. 4 Well, she could have been a boy named Sue! "C...

"Leak Leads Gators to Outback Bowl Win"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 2 Wonder what a poop would have done for them? "Family: Boy, 2, Hit by SUV in Good Condition"--headline, Clarion-Ledger (Jackson, Miss.), Jan. 3 Nice to know the SUV is ok, now how about the poor little boy? "Topless Women Plan Suit"--headline, Citizen (Auburn, N.Y.), Dec. 31 Hopefully it will be a full suit and not just the bottoms. "Breast Jobs Divide a Nation"--headline, Age (Melbourne, Austral...

I got my CD!  Now I am published!  In an address book!  I got my Christmas CD! So many thanks to Parated2k!  I will listen to it tomorrow night as I have plans for this night! {wink} {wink}

"Cyclical Vomiting: Not Just for Children"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 28 No, Lance Armstrong is entitled to it as well! "Would-Be Suicide Bombers Blown Up in Afghanistan"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 29 If he blows himself up, isn't he still a Suiicide Bomber?  He just did nto get any innocent people. "Study: Guppies Have Menopause, Too"--headline, LiveScience.com, Dec. 29 Moral, dont mess with female Guppies having hot flashes! "Scientists Lift Malaria's Invisible Cloak...

Sen. Bill Alter wants to band the sale of cold beer, because, as  he explains, the only reason people buy it is so they can pop the top as soon as leaving the store.  Never mind that it would take a couple of hours to cool it down!  Nope, he wants Missourians to start drinking Luke Warm Beer! Well, I have had the misfortune of drinking luke warm Beer.  Indeed it was nasty as weasel piss!  But one thing I learned living in Europe.  Germans thumb their noses at the...

Sorry, I saw these 2 in the newest list and laughed!  They are too great to pass up! Troops Kill, Capture Terrorists, Seize Weapons Caches Again no MSM reports...too bad... by ShadowWar  on  Wednesday, January 04, 2006 4:56:28 PM  in War on Terror Bush Tries to Cover Up Incompetence in Iraq He hides behind his Generals by COL Gene  on  Wednesday, January 04, 2006 5:31:50 PM  in Politics ...