"9/11 Workers to Be Autopsied When They Die"--headline, MSNBC.com, Sept. 20

I am sure they are happy for the delay.

"Lawyers Debate What Letter Comes After K"--headline, Concord (N.H.) Monitor, Sept. 21

Leave it to lawyers to try to rewrite the Alphabet.

"Man Jailed for Beheading Girlfriend's Kitten"--headline, CNN.com, Sept. 20

I hope it was in the Dog Pound.

"Senate Weighs 700-Mile Fence Along Border"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 21

They say it is a ton a mile.

"Billionaires Only Occupy Forbes 400 List"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 22

Billionaires lead dull lives.

"No matter your age, if you are reading this, you are growing older."--Al Neuharth, USA Today, Sept. 22

At least one editor gets it.

"Most Voters Say Governor Should Live"--headline, Peoria (Ill.) Journal Star, Sept. 24

Tough Constituency!  California just recalled theirs, they did not give him the death penalty!

"Turkey Abuse Claims 'on the Rise' "--headline, BBC Web site, Sept. 22

Seems the closer to Thanksgiving.......

"Snow to Raise Money for GOP Candidates"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 25

No wonder people are worrying about global warming.

"Woman Finds Deer Head in Her Mailbox"--headline, WFMY-TV Web site, Jan. 6

The forrest mafia made her an offer she could not refuse.

"U.S. Needs 2 New Icebreakers, Study Says"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 26

How about "can I call you sometime?" and "You are the prettiest lady in the room"?