"UCF Professor Says No Such Thing as Ghosts"--headline, WDBO-AM Web site (Orlando, Fla.), Oct. 26 Ghosts ok with that, as they dont beleive in Professors. "Police Chase Depressed Driver"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Oct. 27 Depression is against the law? "Fire Breaks Out at Salt Lake Crematorium"--headline, KTVX-TV Web site (Salt Lake City), Oct. 25 Sand found in the Middle East? "Dow Jones to Sell Six Papers for $283 Million"--headline, MarketWatch.com, Oct. 27 ...

"UCF Professor Says No Such Thing as Ghosts"--headline, WDBO-AM Web site (Orlando, Fla.), Oct. 26 Ghosts ok with that, as they dont beleive in Professors. "Police Chase Depressed Driver"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Oct. 27 Depression is against the law? "Fire Breaks Out at Salt Lake Crematorium"--headline, KTVX-TV Web site (Salt Lake City), Oct. 25 Sand found in the Middle East? "Dow Jones to Sell Six Papers for $283 Million"--headline, MarketWatch.com, Oct. 27 ...

"The gavel of the speaker of the House is in the hands of special interests, and now it will be in the hands of America's children."--Nancy Pelosi I have heard of women lying about there age, but isn't that a bit extreme? "Croatia Tempts Tourists With Cheap Dental Care"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 16 Psst!  Hey buddy, want to buy a crown? "Company Recalls Egg Salad in 17 States"--headline, CNN.com, Oct. 22 It was a light and fluffy blend of eggs and mayonaise that temp...

"The gavel of the speaker of the House is in the hands of special interests, and now it will be in the hands of America's children."--Nancy Pelosi I have heard of women lying about there age, but isn't that a bit extreme? "Croatia Tempts Tourists With Cheap Dental Care"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 16 Psst!  Hey buddy, want to buy a crown? "Company Recalls Egg Salad in 17 States"--headline, CNN.com, Oct. 22 It was a light and fluffy blend of eggs and mayonaise that temp...

"Don't Flee Fires Too Late, Experts Warn"--headline, Australian, Oct. 18 "Wait, I have to finish this round of Bridge!" "Germany Sentenced to Prison and Ordered to Pay Restitution"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 16 Kurt Russel's next movie: Escape from Deutschland! "Man Threatens to Jump, Survives Fall"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 16 Whew!  Glad he did not jump, and only fell! "Teen's Tongue Piercing Linked to Pain"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 17 ...

"Don't Flee Fires Too Late, Experts Warn"--headline, Australian, Oct. 18 "Wait, I have to finish this round of Bridge!" "Germany Sentenced to Prison and Ordered to Pay Restitution"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 16 Kurt Russel's next movie: Escape from Deutschland! "Man Threatens to Jump, Survives Fall"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 16 Whew!  Glad he did not jump, and only fell! "Teen's Tongue Piercing Linked to Pain"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 17 ...

"Defense Contractors Weigh Majority Leader Murtha"--headline, The Hill, Oct. 11 What's a Murtha weigh?  About 12 stones. "Bush to the Rescue as Saints Oust Bucs"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 8 What happened to seperation of Church and State? "Ducks to Test Coyotes' Toughness"--headline, East Valley Tribune (Mesa, Ariz.), Oct. 7 "Hey Daffy, Pass the tenderizer.  This one is still a little stringy." "Tigers Agree to Resume Peace Talks"--headline, CNN.com, O...

"Defense Contractors Weigh Majority Leader Murtha"--headline, The Hill, Oct. 11 What's a Murtha weigh?  About 12 stones. "Bush to the Rescue as Saints Oust Bucs"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 8 What happened to seperation of Church and State? "Ducks to Test Coyotes' Toughness"--headline, East Valley Tribune (Mesa, Ariz.), Oct. 7 "Hey Daffy, Pass the tenderizer.  This one is still a little stringy." "Tigers Agree to Resume Peace Talks"--headline, CNN.com, O...

"Mad Deer Disease May Spread With Saliva"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 5 I thought they called that the "Kissing Disease". "Man Still Critical After Getting Stuck in Tub of Dough"--headline, KGW-TV Web site (Portland, Ore.), Oct. 6 I would be mad if I was stuck in dough too! "EEOC Moves to Stem Decline in Disabled Workforce"--headline, Washington Post, Oct. 6 Are they going to break some legs? "Crocs Can Pose a Danger on Escalators"--headline, ABCNews.com, Oct. 5 ...

"Mad Deer Disease May Spread With Saliva"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 5 I thought they called that the "Kissing Disease". "Man Still Critical After Getting Stuck in Tub of Dough"--headline, KGW-TV Web site (Portland, Ore.), Oct. 6 I would be mad if I was stuck in dough too! "EEOC Moves to Stem Decline in Disabled Workforce"--headline, Washington Post, Oct. 6 Are they going to break some legs? "Crocs Can Pose a Danger on Escalators"--headline, ABCNews.com, Oct. 5 ...

"Clown Running for Mayor of Alameda"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 3 Isn't that the case in evry electio? "Boxer Goes Naked to Make Weight for World Title Fight"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 3 But who would want to see Barbara Naked? "Father, Son Sentenced in Ark. Xmas Eve Barn Burglary"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 29 Noah better stay off that grape juice! "Ark. Woman Finds Skunk Under House"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 2 Probably Noah after he tied...

"Clown Running for Mayor of Alameda"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 3 Isn't that the case in evry electio? "Boxer Goes Naked to Make Weight for World Title Fight"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 3 But who would want to see Barbara Naked? "Father, Son Sentenced in Ark. Xmas Eve Barn Burglary"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 29 Noah better stay off that grape juice! "Ark. Woman Finds Skunk Under House"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 2 Probably Noah after he tied...

"Judge Rules Dog Comment 'Stupid' but Not a Lawsuit"--headline, Detroit Free Press, Sept. 28 The dog had no comment. "Car Salesman Accused of Machete Attack"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 26 "No Cletus!  We slash prices, not Customers!" "Augmented Breasts Will Require Additional Inspection at Airports"--headline, TravelGearBlog.com, Sept. 27 My application is already in the mail. "Dead Man Ignored Police Order"--headline, Arizona Republic, Sept. 23 "Sarg...

"Judge Rules Dog Comment 'Stupid' but Not a Lawsuit"--headline, Detroit Free Press, Sept. 28 The dog had no comment. "Car Salesman Accused of Machete Attack"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 26 "No Cletus!  We slash prices, not Customers!" "Augmented Breasts Will Require Additional Inspection at Airports"--headline, TravelGearBlog.com, Sept. 27 My application is already in the mail. "Dead Man Ignored Police Order"--headline, Arizona Republic, Sept. 23 "Sarg...

"9/11 Workers to Be Autopsied When They Die"--headline, MSNBC.com, Sept. 20 I am sure they are happy for the delay. "Lawyers Debate What Letter Comes After K"--headline, Concord (N.H.) Monitor, Sept. 21 Leave it to lawyers to try to rewrite the Alphabet. "Man Jailed for Beheading Girlfriend's Kitten"--headline, CNN.com, Sept. 20 I hope it was in the Dog Pound. "Senate Weighs 700-Mile Fence Along Border"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 21 They say it is a ton a ...