"Judge Rules Dog Comment 'Stupid' but Not a Lawsuit"--headline, Detroit Free Press, Sept. 28

The dog had no comment.

"Car Salesman Accused of Machete Attack"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 26

"No Cletus!  We slash prices, not Customers!"

"Augmented Breasts Will Require Additional Inspection at Airports"--headline, TravelGearBlog.com, Sept. 27

My application is already in the mail.

"Dead Man Ignored Police Order"--headline, Arizona Republic, Sept. 23

"Sarge, he refused to raise his hands!"

"They Asked for a Bathroom, but Got a Loft"--headline, New York Times, Sept. 28

I hope I am not under them when they finally let go of their loads!

"Woman Finally Cures Her 40-Year Fear of Vegetables"--headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Sept. 29

Sometimes the Broccoli is really out to get you!

"Experts: Technology Could Save or Destroy Civilization This Century"--headline, LiveScience.com, Sept. 30

Non Experts:  We said that too.

"Clinton Burglar Specializing in Women's Underwear"--headline, Herald & Review (Decatur, Ill.), Sept. 28

Sandy is doing a Marv Albert?

"Blogger Sought for Posts on Ga. Teen Sex"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 1

These 21st century jobs sure are getting specialized!

"Bosnia Appears Split on Whether to Unify"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 1

Maybe they are Unified on whether to split?