"Scientists Warn of 'Mad Honey Disease' "--headline, Independent (London), Sept. 10

That is more politically correct than Mad Cow I guess.

"French Broad Is Focus of Race"--headline, Asheville (N.C.) Citizen-Times, Sept. 9

First one to the finish line gets the Broad.

"50 Cent Lamborghini Ride Leads to Ticket"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 8

I got 50 cents, can I have a ride?

"Richmond OKs Prostitution-Free Zones"--headline, Richmond Times-Dispatch, Sept. 12

So is it legal in the rest of the city now?

"Gore Calls on China, India to Tackle Climate Change"--headline, Agence France-Presse, Sept. 12

Isn't that gang tackling?  I thought that was illegal.

"European Nations Agree on Iran Language"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 13

I guess the Muslims have already taken over.

"Stanford Won't Let Doctors Accept Gifts"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 12

Puts a big damper on Christmas.

"Rice: Don't Leave Vacuum in Afghanistan"--headline, NewsMax.com, Sept. 12

I guess there is no Hoover shortage there.

"Defendant Seeks Delay Because Deer Season Could Reduce Jury Pool"--headline, WPTY-TV Web site (Memphis, Tenn.), Sept. 13

His lawyer better explain to him that it is a Jury of your PEERS, not DEERS.

"Rare White Buffalo Born to Wis. Farm for 3rd Time"--headline, WFRV-TV web site (Green Bay), Sept. 14

I have heard of cying a thousand deaths, but being born 3 times?

"Shortages Are Ballooning the Cost of Helium" --AOL September 12, 2006

I thought the Helium was ballooning?

"U.S. Excluded Bombs From Baghdad Murder Toll" --AOL September 12, 2006

Of Course!  Bombs are not people!