"Pope Pushes Turkey to Protect Christians"--headline, CBSNews.com, Nov. 29 Just caaaaaalllllll For Super Turkey!  Bawk, Ba-ba-bawk! "Arctic Gull Recorded in Southern Calif."--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 24 Guess not too many studios at the north pole. "Ohio Firm Recalls Turkey and Ham"--headline, Reuters, Nov. 24 "That was some feast you put on for Thanksgiving Ma!" "Oregon AD Moos to Resign, Will Stay Until March 2007"--headline, ESPN.com, Nov. 26 What do y...

"Pope Pushes Turkey to Protect Christians"--headline, CBSNews.com, Nov. 29 Just caaaaaalllllll For Super Turkey!  Bawk, Ba-ba-bawk! "Arctic Gull Recorded in Southern Calif."--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 24 Guess not too many studios at the north pole. "Ohio Firm Recalls Turkey and Ham"--headline, Reuters, Nov. 24 "That was some feast you put on for Thanksgiving Ma!" "Oregon AD Moos to Resign, Will Stay Until March 2007"--headline, ESPN.com, Nov. 26 What do y...

"Scientists Find Genetic Differences Between Humans, Chimps"--headline, Daily Californian (University of California, Berkeley), Nov. 17 Gee, and I always thought they were identical twins. "Elderly Dying From Falls More Often"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16 Lazarus has nothing on the people of today who seem to be dying many times! "Frenchwoman May Be First to Lead France"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 17 No wonder France is so messed up!  It has never had ...

"Scientists Find Genetic Differences Between Humans, Chimps"--headline, Daily Californian (University of California, Berkeley), Nov. 17 Gee, and I always thought they were identical twins. "Elderly Dying From Falls More Often"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16 Lazarus has nothing on the people of today who seem to be dying many times! "Frenchwoman May Be First to Lead France"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 17 No wonder France is so messed up!  It has never had ...

"Cell Transplants Restore Sight in Blind Mice"--headline, Washington Post, Nov. 9 Can it replace their tails? "Bono Calls for U.S. to Repatriate Hicks"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 7 Rednecks come home! "Ennis to Face Self in Superior Court Runoff"--headline, Telegraph (Macon, Ga.), Nov. 9 Will the best man win? "Owens Sentenced to Death for 3rd Time"--headline, WYFF-TV Web site (Greenville, S.C.), Nov. 13 He is doing Lazarus one better! "Official: Politici...

"Cell Transplants Restore Sight in Blind Mice"--headline, Washington Post, Nov. 9 Can it replace their tails? "Bono Calls for U.S. to Repatriate Hicks"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 7 Rednecks come home! "Ennis to Face Self in Superior Court Runoff"--headline, Telegraph (Macon, Ga.), Nov. 9 Will the best man win? "Owens Sentenced to Death for 3rd Time"--headline, WYFF-TV Web site (Greenville, S.C.), Nov. 13 He is doing Lazarus one better! "Official: Politici...

"Hussein May Be Hanged by Spring, Lawyer Says"--headline, Los Angeles Times, Nov. 7 Are they running out of rope? "School Bus Injuries Much More Common Than Thought"--headline, HealthDay.com, Nov. 6 Appaerntly not a lot of thought in school busses. "The Geneva-based World Health Organization will chose its seventh leader this week."--Washington Times, Nov. 6 Not much job security in that job! "Has Madonna Become a Jew for Jesus?"--headline, MSNBC.com, Nov. 6 Most ...

"Hussein May Be Hanged by Spring, Lawyer Says"--headline, Los Angeles Times, Nov. 7 Are they running out of rope? "School Bus Injuries Much More Common Than Thought"--headline, HealthDay.com, Nov. 6 Appaerntly not a lot of thought in school busses. "The Geneva-based World Health Organization will chose its seventh leader this week."--Washington Times, Nov. 6 Not much job security in that job! "Has Madonna Become a Jew for Jesus?"--headline, MSNBC.com, Nov. 6 Most ...

"UCF Professor Says No Such Thing as Ghosts"--headline, WDBO-AM Web site (Orlando, Fla.), Oct. 26 Ghosts ok with that, as they dont beleive in Professors. "Police Chase Depressed Driver"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Oct. 27 Depression is against the law? "Fire Breaks Out at Salt Lake Crematorium"--headline, KTVX-TV Web site (Salt Lake City), Oct. 25 Sand found in the Middle East? "Dow Jones to Sell Six Papers for $283 Million"--headline, MarketWatch.com, Oct. 27 ...

"UCF Professor Says No Such Thing as Ghosts"--headline, WDBO-AM Web site (Orlando, Fla.), Oct. 26 Ghosts ok with that, as they dont beleive in Professors. "Police Chase Depressed Driver"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Oct. 27 Depression is against the law? "Fire Breaks Out at Salt Lake Crematorium"--headline, KTVX-TV Web site (Salt Lake City), Oct. 25 Sand found in the Middle East? "Dow Jones to Sell Six Papers for $283 Million"--headline, MarketWatch.com, Oct. 27 ...

"The gavel of the speaker of the House is in the hands of special interests, and now it will be in the hands of America's children."--Nancy Pelosi I have heard of women lying about there age, but isn't that a bit extreme? "Croatia Tempts Tourists With Cheap Dental Care"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 16 Psst!  Hey buddy, want to buy a crown? "Company Recalls Egg Salad in 17 States"--headline, CNN.com, Oct. 22 It was a light and fluffy blend of eggs and mayonaise that temp...

"The gavel of the speaker of the House is in the hands of special interests, and now it will be in the hands of America's children."--Nancy Pelosi I have heard of women lying about there age, but isn't that a bit extreme? "Croatia Tempts Tourists With Cheap Dental Care"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 16 Psst!  Hey buddy, want to buy a crown? "Company Recalls Egg Salad in 17 States"--headline, CNN.com, Oct. 22 It was a light and fluffy blend of eggs and mayonaise that temp...

"Don't Flee Fires Too Late, Experts Warn"--headline, Australian, Oct. 18 "Wait, I have to finish this round of Bridge!" "Germany Sentenced to Prison and Ordered to Pay Restitution"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 16 Kurt Russel's next movie: Escape from Deutschland! "Man Threatens to Jump, Survives Fall"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 16 Whew!  Glad he did not jump, and only fell! "Teen's Tongue Piercing Linked to Pain"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 17 ...

"Don't Flee Fires Too Late, Experts Warn"--headline, Australian, Oct. 18 "Wait, I have to finish this round of Bridge!" "Germany Sentenced to Prison and Ordered to Pay Restitution"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 16 Kurt Russel's next movie: Escape from Deutschland! "Man Threatens to Jump, Survives Fall"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 16 Whew!  Glad he did not jump, and only fell! "Teen's Tongue Piercing Linked to Pain"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 17 ...

"Defense Contractors Weigh Majority Leader Murtha"--headline, The Hill, Oct. 11 What's a Murtha weigh?  About 12 stones. "Bush to the Rescue as Saints Oust Bucs"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 8 What happened to seperation of Church and State? "Ducks to Test Coyotes' Toughness"--headline, East Valley Tribune (Mesa, Ariz.), Oct. 7 "Hey Daffy, Pass the tenderizer.  This one is still a little stringy." "Tigers Agree to Resume Peace Talks"--headline, CNN.com, O...