"Pope Pushes Turkey to Protect Christians"--headline, CBSNews.com, Nov. 29

Just caaaaaalllllll For Super Turkey!  Bawk, Ba-ba-bawk!

"Arctic Gull Recorded in Southern Calif."--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 24

Guess not too many studios at the north pole.

"Ohio Firm Recalls Turkey and Ham"--headline, Reuters, Nov. 24

"That was some feast you put on for Thanksgiving Ma!"

"Oregon AD Moos to Resign, Will Stay Until March 2007"--headline, ESPN.com, Nov. 26

What do you have to do to get hired, cluck?

"Testicle Checks 'Now More Common' "--headline, BBC.co.uk, Nov. 26

"Yep, you got 2 - Next!"

"Women Talk Three Times as Much as Men, Says Study"--headline, Daily Mail (London), Nov. 28

Men listen only a third as much as women do.

"Older Female Chimps Sexier"--headline, New Vision (Uganda), Nov. 27

Bad news for women in Uganda.

"Cutting Back on Smoking Won't Cut Death Risk"--headline, HealthDay.com, Nov. 28

Doctors say life is still 100% fatal.

"'Bad gas' grounds American Airlines flight" --headline, Foxnews, Dec. 6

No more beans to be served on American flights!

"Student Studies in D.C."--headline, Acorn (Agoura Hills, Calif.), Nov. 30

That's one.

"Data Can Now Be Stored on Paper"--headline, Arab News (Jeddah, Saudi Arabia), Nov. 18

Arabs invent Pencil.