"Cell Transplants Restore Sight in Blind Mice"--headline, Washington Post, Nov. 9

Can it replace their tails?

"Bono Calls for U.S. to Repatriate Hicks"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 7

Rednecks come home!

"Ennis to Face Self in Superior Court Runoff"--headline, Telegraph (Macon, Ga.), Nov. 9

Will the best man win?

"Owens Sentenced to Death for 3rd Time"--headline, WYFF-TV Web site (Greenville, S.C.), Nov. 13

He is doing Lazarus one better!

"Official: Politicians Don't Reveal the Truth"--headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Nov. 14

We need officials to tell us that??????

"Orange Man Fires Shots at Another for Peeing in Public"--headline, Orange (Texas) Leader, Nov. 13

Would that be the yellow man he was firing at?

"125,000 Still Without Power After B.C. Storm"--headline, CBC.ca, Nov. 16

They had electricty back then?

"Pelosi Makes History as Female Speaker"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16

First the right to vote, and not to talk!  What next for women?

"Authorities Seek Gunman After Victim Shot by Bar"--headline, Times (Trenton, N.J.), Nov. 15

Guns dont kill people, Bars do!

"Turkey Fears New Homegrown Terror Threat"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16

We call it Thanksgiving!

"Youth Suicide Program Works: Study"--headline, Australian, Nov. 17

Well, at least once, unless they are like Lazarus.