Daily Dose of Weird and Whacky Headlines

Published on November 30, 2006 By Dr Guy In Humor

"Scientists Find Genetic Differences Between Humans, Chimps"--headline, Daily Californian (University of California, Berkeley), Nov. 17

Gee, and I always thought they were identical twins.

"Elderly Dying From Falls More Often"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16

Lazarus has nothing on the people of today who seem to be dying many times!

"Frenchwoman May Be First to Lead France"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 17

No wonder France is so messed up! It has never had a leader!

"Woman Convicted of 2 Counts of Murder in 2004 Yacht Killings"--headline, Daily Breeze (Torrance, Calif.), Nov. 18

Which amendment made yachts protected persons?

"Doctors Say How We Taste Affects Health"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 21

Must be why clowns taste funny?

"Woman Charged for Poisoned Sandwiches"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 20

Bet she did not get many repeat customers.

"Guard Copter to Drop Turkey in East Maui"--headline, Honolulu Advertiser, Nov. 21

Shades of Les Nesman and WKRP!

"I-Team: Unlicensed Drivers Disregard State's Driving Laws"--headline, WESH-TV Web site (Orlando, Fla.), Nov. 21

I wonder what gave them away? Maybe the fact that driving without a license is breaking law number 1?

"Cocaine Seized in Big Bust"--headline, Wisconsin State Journal (Madison), Nov. 22

So that is what Pamela Anderson has under her shirt!

Comments

MasonM

on Nov 30, 2006

"Guard Copter to Drop Turkey in East Maui"--headline, Honolulu Advertiser, Nov. 21

Shades of Les Nesman and WKRP!

One of my favorite episodes.

"Scientists Find Genetic Differences Between Humans, Chimps"--headline, Daily Californian (University of California, Berkeley), Nov. 17

None found between Scientists, Chimps

dynamaso

on Dec 01, 2006

Thanks for the laugh, again, Doc. It was the perfect antidote to a long day (okay, that and a cold beer or two

)

Dr Guy

on Dec 01, 2006

One of my favorite episodes.

Mine too! I was wondering how many would catch that reference.

Dr Guy

on Dec 01, 2006

It was the perfect antidote to a long day (okay, that and a cold beer or two )

I am glad you added that qualifier! Have another one to celebrate your 30 degree days versus our 0 degree days.

SilentPoet

on Dec 05, 2006

"Pinochet in critical condition" (CNN)

~His brother Pinnochio, wife Raggedy Ann, and children, sticks, kindling, and marienette welcome all kind words.

"Hopes fade for mudslide survivors "

If it's like mine where when i drank mudslide....they're doomed.

"Madagascar votes for new president"

~If you thought the animated movie was strange, just wait...

"Top Bush aide: White House must get 'mojo back'"

~It's time to call Austin Powers!

"Big mergers, big rally"

~Yep, it's where police merge with protesters.

"Condemned man called 'crazy as a bedbug'"

~Gives new meaning to, "Sleep tight, don't let the bed bug bite..."

on Dec 05, 2006

erm, and all the headlines were from CNN

Dr Guy

on Dec 05, 2006

"Pinochet in critical condition" (CNN)

~His brother Pinnochio, wife Raggedy Ann, and children, sticks, kindling, and marienette welcome all kind words.

I was wondering if anyone was going to link the puppet with him! Good one!

jennifer1

on Dec 06, 2006

Elderly Dying From Falls More Often"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16
Lazarus has nothing on the people of today who seem to be dying many times

Cocaine Seized in Big Bust"--headline, Wisconsin State Journal (Madison), Nov. 22
So that is what Pamela Anderson has under her shirt!

Very funny as usual doc - keep them coming!

Dr Guy

on Dec 07, 2006

Very funny as usual doc - keep them coming!

Good to see you back. Capt'n Starkers has been a bear with no discipline in his crew of late.

SilentPoet

on Dec 09, 2006

"Duck threatens Barcelona’s Goofy at Club World Cup"

~Disney has no comment.

"No Monty panacea but enough to keep the bandwagon rolling"

~This replacement for Monty Python is not expected to be as great.

"S. Africa recall Adams"

~A complete list of the blemishes can be found at any SA jail.

"Save the snow"

~It's a new calling for the ELA.

"Chavez in Argentina trade talks

~What he doesn't know is what's being traded...

(

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!