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Dr Guy's Articles In Humor » Page 19
December 22, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Man With No Pulse Considered a Medical Breakthrough"--headline, Globe and Mail (Toronto), Dec. 13 I thought they were called Corpses? "Leahy Wants FBI to Help Corrupt Iraqi Police Force"--headline, CNN.com, Dec. 13 teach them to take bribes? "Dueling Views Pit Baker Against Rice"--headline, New York Times, Dec. 8 Only wheat flower from now on! "Obama Takes First Steps in N.H."--headline, Washington Post, Dec. 11 I guess that is news!  A 40 year old man just...
December 22, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Man With No Pulse Considered a Medical Breakthrough"--headline, Globe and Mail (Toronto), Dec. 13 I thought they were called Corpses? "Leahy Wants FBI to Help Corrupt Iraqi Police Force"--headline, CNN.com, Dec. 13 teach them to take bribes? "Dueling Views Pit Baker Against Rice"--headline, New York Times, Dec. 8 Only wheat flower from now on! "Obama Takes First Steps in N.H."--headline, Washington Post, Dec. 11 I guess that is news!  A 40 year old man just...
December 13, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Microsoft Warns of New Word Attack"--headline, Sci-Tech Today, Dec. 6 Linux? "Chirac and Merkel Unite Over Turkey"--headline, Financial Times, Dec. 3 "I'll have another slice of white meat Jacques." "Sharpton Wants Police Shooting Probes"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 3 They wont be deadly, but I would not moon a cop! "Deputies Shock Man Accused of Battery"--headline, News Star (Monroe, La.), Dec. 4 Was he charged after that? "Charges Dog Strip Club Owner"...
December 13, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Microsoft Warns of New Word Attack"--headline, Sci-Tech Today, Dec. 6 Linux? "Chirac and Merkel Unite Over Turkey"--headline, Financial Times, Dec. 3 "I'll have another slice of white meat Jacques." "Sharpton Wants Police Shooting Probes"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 3 They wont be deadly, but I would not moon a cop! "Deputies Shock Man Accused of Battery"--headline, News Star (Monroe, La.), Dec. 4 Was he charged after that? "Charges Dog Strip Club Owner"...
December 11, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Pope Pushes Turkey to Protect Christians"--headline, CBSNews.com, Nov. 29 Just caaaaaalllllll For Super Turkey!  Bawk, Ba-ba-bawk! "Arctic Gull Recorded in Southern Calif."--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 24 Guess not too many studios at the north pole. "Ohio Firm Recalls Turkey and Ham"--headline, Reuters, Nov. 24 "That was some feast you put on for Thanksgiving Ma!" "Oregon AD Moos to Resign, Will Stay Until March 2007"--headline, ESPN.com, Nov. 26 What do y...
December 11, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Pope Pushes Turkey to Protect Christians"--headline, CBSNews.com, Nov. 29 Just caaaaaalllllll For Super Turkey!  Bawk, Ba-ba-bawk! "Arctic Gull Recorded in Southern Calif."--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 24 Guess not too many studios at the north pole. "Ohio Firm Recalls Turkey and Ham"--headline, Reuters, Nov. 24 "That was some feast you put on for Thanksgiving Ma!" "Oregon AD Moos to Resign, Will Stay Until March 2007"--headline, ESPN.com, Nov. 26 What do y...
November 30, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Scientists Find Genetic Differences Between Humans, Chimps"--headline, Daily Californian (University of California, Berkeley), Nov. 17 Gee, and I always thought they were identical twins. "Elderly Dying From Falls More Often"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16 Lazarus has nothing on the people of today who seem to be dying many times! "Frenchwoman May Be First to Lead France"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 17 No wonder France is so messed up!  It has never had ...
November 30, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Scientists Find Genetic Differences Between Humans, Chimps"--headline, Daily Californian (University of California, Berkeley), Nov. 17 Gee, and I always thought they were identical twins. "Elderly Dying From Falls More Often"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 16 Lazarus has nothing on the people of today who seem to be dying many times! "Frenchwoman May Be First to Lead France"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 17 No wonder France is so messed up!  It has never had ...
November 21, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Cell Transplants Restore Sight in Blind Mice"--headline, Washington Post, Nov. 9 Can it replace their tails? "Bono Calls for U.S. to Repatriate Hicks"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 7 Rednecks come home! "Ennis to Face Self in Superior Court Runoff"--headline, Telegraph (Macon, Ga.), Nov. 9 Will the best man win? "Owens Sentenced to Death for 3rd Time"--headline, WYFF-TV Web site (Greenville, S.C.), Nov. 13 He is doing Lazarus one better! "Official: Politici...
November 21, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Cell Transplants Restore Sight in Blind Mice"--headline, Washington Post, Nov. 9 Can it replace their tails? "Bono Calls for U.S. to Repatriate Hicks"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 7 Rednecks come home! "Ennis to Face Self in Superior Court Runoff"--headline, Telegraph (Macon, Ga.), Nov. 9 Will the best man win? "Owens Sentenced to Death for 3rd Time"--headline, WYFF-TV Web site (Greenville, S.C.), Nov. 13 He is doing Lazarus one better! "Official: Politici...
November 16, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Hussein May Be Hanged by Spring, Lawyer Says"--headline, Los Angeles Times, Nov. 7 Are they running out of rope? "School Bus Injuries Much More Common Than Thought"--headline, HealthDay.com, Nov. 6 Appaerntly not a lot of thought in school busses. "The Geneva-based World Health Organization will chose its seventh leader this week."--Washington Times, Nov. 6 Not much job security in that job! "Has Madonna Become a Jew for Jesus?"--headline, MSNBC.com, Nov. 6 Most ...
November 16, 2006 by Dr Guy
"Hussein May Be Hanged by Spring, Lawyer Says"--headline, Los Angeles Times, Nov. 7 Are they running out of rope? "School Bus Injuries Much More Common Than Thought"--headline, HealthDay.com, Nov. 6 Appaerntly not a lot of thought in school busses. "The Geneva-based World Health Organization will chose its seventh leader this week."--Washington Times, Nov. 6 Not much job security in that job! "Has Madonna Become a Jew for Jesus?"--headline, MSNBC.com, Nov. 6 Most ...
November 9, 2006 by Dr Guy
"UCF Professor Says No Such Thing as Ghosts"--headline, WDBO-AM Web site (Orlando, Fla.), Oct. 26 Ghosts ok with that, as they dont beleive in Professors. "Police Chase Depressed Driver"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Oct. 27 Depression is against the law? "Fire Breaks Out at Salt Lake Crematorium"--headline, KTVX-TV Web site (Salt Lake City), Oct. 25 Sand found in the Middle East? "Dow Jones to Sell Six Papers for $283 Million"--headline, MarketWatch.com, Oct. 27 ...
November 9, 2006 by Dr Guy
"UCF Professor Says No Such Thing as Ghosts"--headline, WDBO-AM Web site (Orlando, Fla.), Oct. 26 Ghosts ok with that, as they dont beleive in Professors. "Police Chase Depressed Driver"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Oct. 27 Depression is against the law? "Fire Breaks Out at Salt Lake Crematorium"--headline, KTVX-TV Web site (Salt Lake City), Oct. 25 Sand found in the Middle East? "Dow Jones to Sell Six Papers for $283 Million"--headline, MarketWatch.com, Oct. 27 ...
November 1, 2006 by Dr Guy
"The gavel of the speaker of the House is in the hands of special interests, and now it will be in the hands of America's children."--Nancy Pelosi I have heard of women lying about there age, but isn't that a bit extreme? "Croatia Tempts Tourists With Cheap Dental Care"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 16 Psst!  Hey buddy, want to buy a crown? "Company Recalls Egg Salad in 17 States"--headline, CNN.com, Oct. 22 It was a light and fluffy blend of eggs and mayonaise that temp...