Last night, I went to bed with a period. Confident in my knowledge that although aging, I was doing so gracefully. But little did I know that whilst I slept, someone was conspiring to age my body beyond my normal eternal youthfulness! Today I awoke, and something was different. You know how it is. You know something is, but not what. What could it be? But I went about my daily duties thinking that perhaps it was just a synaptic disconnect (which sometimes l...
Last night, I went to bed with a period. Confident in my knowledge that although aging, I was doing so gracefully. But little did I know that whilst I slept, someone was conspiring to age my body beyond my normal eternal youthfulness! Today I awoke, and something was different. You know how it is. You know something is, but not what. What could it be? But I went about my daily duties thinking that perhaps it was just a synaptic disconnect (which sometimes l...
"Event Opposed for Its Gay Ties"--headline, Pioneer Press (St. Paul, Minn.), Jan. 24 Only earth tone ties allowed. "Jackson Ex-Lawyer Testifies in Tape Suit"--headline, FoxNews.com, Jan. 24 Duct Tape - it is not just for fixing any more! "Water Board Cited as Ineffective"--headline, Pioneer Press (St. Paul, Minn.), Jan. 26 The CIA going back to flaming bamboo under fingernails. "Sting in former Soviet republic illustrates how accessible nuclear material is"--subheadline...
"Event Opposed for Its Gay Ties"--headline, Pioneer Press (St. Paul, Minn.), Jan. 24 Only earth tone ties allowed. "Jackson Ex-Lawyer Testifies in Tape Suit"--headline, FoxNews.com, Jan. 24 Duct Tape - it is not just for fixing any more! "Water Board Cited as Ineffective"--headline, Pioneer Press (St. Paul, Minn.), Jan. 26 The CIA going back to flaming bamboo under fingernails. "Sting in former Soviet republic illustrates how accessible nuclear material is"--subheadline...
(With thanks to Zoo who did a great job in my high ate us) "20-Year-Old Missing After Heavy Rains, Flooding in Ark."--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 15 Noah should keep better track of his sons! "Town Searching for Police Chief"--headline, Concord (N.H.) Monitor, Jan. 12 You know you are in trouble when even the Police Chief gets lost! "Exploding Pumps Recalled"--headline, Health24.com, Jan. 12 "Ah, the blow up so young!" "ASEAN Leaders Agree to Put Teeth Into Group"...
(With thanks to Zoo who did a great job in my high ate us) "20-Year-Old Missing After Heavy Rains, Flooding in Ark."--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 15 Noah should keep better track of his sons! "Town Searching for Police Chief"--headline, Concord (N.H.) Monitor, Jan. 12 You know you are in trouble when even the Police Chief gets lost! "Exploding Pumps Recalled"--headline, Health24.com, Jan. 12 "Ah, the blow up so young!" "ASEAN Leaders Agree to Put Teeth Into Group"...
"Scientist Works to Predict Space Weather"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 2 The Forecast for today is Dark. Followed by gradual dark. "Police Search for Boyfriend Who Left Girls Alone"--headline, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Jan. 4 Shouldn't they be looking for the ones that DONT leave them alone? "Coroner Says Student's Fall From Tower a Mystery"--headline, Chicago Tribune, Jan. 4 Isaac Newton would disagree. "Wash. School Shooting Called 'Senseless' "--headl...
"Scientist Works to Predict Space Weather"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 2 The Forecast for today is Dark. Followed by gradual dark. "Police Search for Boyfriend Who Left Girls Alone"--headline, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Jan. 4 Shouldn't they be looking for the ones that DONT leave them alone? "Coroner Says Student's Fall From Tower a Mystery"--headline, Chicago Tribune, Jan. 4 Isaac Newton would disagree. "Wash. School Shooting Called 'Senseless' "--headl...
There is an old joke about a farmer's daughter (they all begin that way) and a traveling salesman. The joke goes that the farmer lets the salesman stay the night, but he is not to touch his daughter. And to make sure he does not, he puts eggs all around his daughter in her bed. Well, as it goes, the salesman cannot resists, busts all the eggs and then realizes he is a dead man! But being a traveling glue salesman, he runs out to his car, gets some glue and glues all the e...
There is an old joke about a farmer's daughter (they all begin that way) and a traveling salesman. The joke goes that the farmer lets the salesman stay the night, but he is not to touch his daughter. And to make sure he does not, he puts eggs all around his daughter in her bed. Well, as it goes, the salesman cannot resists, busts all the eggs and then realizes he is a dead man! But being a traveling glue salesman, he runs out to his car, gets some glue and glues all the e...
"Optimists May Have Longer Lives"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 22 Pessimists think theirs are too long. "Uma Thurman Breaks Wrist, Shooting Delayed"--headline, United Press International, Dec. 23 Guess she has to be put down. "Diapers Not the Solution for Stones"--headline, St. Petersburg Times, Dec. 28 Jagger should stick with Depends. "Planet-Hunting Satellite to Be Launched Today by French Agency"--headline, Bloomberg, Dec. 27 Will surrender to first one it finds. ...
"Optimists May Have Longer Lives"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 22 Pessimists think theirs are too long. "Uma Thurman Breaks Wrist, Shooting Delayed"--headline, United Press International, Dec. 23 Guess she has to be put down. "Diapers Not the Solution for Stones"--headline, St. Petersburg Times, Dec. 28 Jagger should stick with Depends. "Planet-Hunting Satellite to Be Launched Today by French Agency"--headline, Bloomberg, Dec. 27 Will surrender to first one it finds. ...
"Man With No Pulse Considered a Medical Breakthrough"--headline, Globe and Mail (Toronto), Dec. 13 I thought they were called Corpses? "Leahy Wants FBI to Help Corrupt Iraqi Police Force"--headline, CNN.com, Dec. 13 teach them to take bribes? "Dueling Views Pit Baker Against Rice"--headline, New York Times, Dec. 8 Only wheat flower from now on! "Obama Takes First Steps in N.H."--headline, Washington Post, Dec. 11 I guess that is news! A 40 year old man just...
"Man With No Pulse Considered a Medical Breakthrough"--headline, Globe and Mail (Toronto), Dec. 13 I thought they were called Corpses? "Leahy Wants FBI to Help Corrupt Iraqi Police Force"--headline, CNN.com, Dec. 13 teach them to take bribes? "Dueling Views Pit Baker Against Rice"--headline, New York Times, Dec. 8 Only wheat flower from now on! "Obama Takes First Steps in N.H."--headline, Washington Post, Dec. 11 I guess that is news! A 40 year old man just...
"Microsoft Warns of New Word Attack"--headline, Sci-Tech Today, Dec. 6 Linux? "Chirac and Merkel Unite Over Turkey"--headline, Financial Times, Dec. 3 "I'll have another slice of white meat Jacques." "Sharpton Wants Police Shooting Probes"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 3 They wont be deadly, but I would not moon a cop! "Deputies Shock Man Accused of Battery"--headline, News Star (Monroe, La.), Dec. 4 Was he charged after that? "Charges Dog Strip Club Owner"...