"Scientist Works to Predict Space Weather"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 2

The Forecast for today is Dark.  Followed by gradual dark.

"Police Search for Boyfriend Who Left Girls Alone"--headline, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Jan. 4

Shouldn't they be looking for the ones that DONT leave them alone?

"Coroner Says Student's Fall From Tower a Mystery"--headline, Chicago Tribune, Jan. 4

Isaac Newton would disagree.

"Wash. School Shooting Called 'Senseless' "--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 4

Which ones are called sensible?

"Stallone Attacks Mexican Border Fence"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 5

Rambo IV:  Rambo frees the bricks.

"Study: Andromeda way bigger than thought " --headline, CNN, Jan 10

Probably bigger than a lot of thoughts.

"Some Stars May Explode Sooner Than Peers"--headline, United Press International, Jan. 8

My peers dont explode - they just fade away.

"Man Loses Nose in Circumcision Ceremony"--headline, News.com.au, Jan. 9

Get that doctor some glasses!

"Carmakers Shift Their Sights to Turkey"--headline, Yahoo Finance, Jan. 11

Vow: No more lemons!  Now drive off in a Turkey.

"Corzine to Sign Law Requiring Air-Quality Checks at Day Care Centers"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 11

Any Parent knows the worst toxic waste dump is in a diaper!

"Being Bird-Brained Is Not So Bad--as Long as It Is a Big Bird Brain"--headline, Scientific American, Jan. 10

I want Big Birds!