"Microsoft Warns of New Word Attack"--headline, Sci-Tech Today, Dec. 6

Linux?

"Chirac and Merkel Unite Over Turkey"--headline, Financial Times, Dec. 3

"I'll have another slice of white meat Jacques."

"Sharpton Wants Police Shooting Probes"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 3

They wont be deadly, but I would not moon a cop!

"Deputies Shock Man Accused of Battery"--headline, News Star (Monroe, La.), Dec. 4

Was he charged after that?

"Charges Dog Strip Club Owner"--headline, East Valley Tribune (Mesa, Ariz.), Dec. 4

"Hey Fifi!  Let's see more paw!"

"Police Locate Car of Moon Man Found Dead"--headline, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Dec. 5

The long trip was too much for him.

"Darton Women Streaking Again"--headline, Albany (Ga.) Herald, Dec. 5

I thought streaking died out 30 years ago.

"Ford Eyes Making Its Roofs Stronger"--headline, Courier-Journal (Louisville, Ky.), Dec. 6

Superman?  Eyes of steel?

"Weed Arrested for Marijuana Possession"--headline, News Times (Danbury, Conn.), Dec. 5

Ok, hemp.  You have the right to remain silent!

"Charges Filed Against Noah's Ark Owner"--headline, Grunion Gazette (Long Beach, Calif.), Dec. 7

Possession of Dangerous Animals with intent to distribute?