"SUV crashes into store, perhaps in attempt to steal guns" --headline, Orlando Sentinel, May 21

Police looking for SUV - considered Armed and Dangerous!

"Hunter Struggles to Be Noticed on GOP Debate Stage"--headline, San Diego Union-Tribune, May 17

He should do what Cheney did - that will get him noticed.

"Dementia Training Scheduled for June 1 in Perrysburg"--headline, News-Messenger (Fremont, Ohio), May 17

And for those who forget, June 2, June 3, June 4, ........

"Governor Recognizes Local Residents"--headline, Hampshire Review (Romney, W.Va.), May 16

Hey Fred!  Long time no see!

"Dog Bites Down Slightly for Letter Carriers"--headline, East Valley Tribune (Mesa, Ariz.), May 17

Must have been kind to letter carrier week.

"Rangers: Beware of Walking Bears"--headline, KUSA-TV Web site (Denver), May 17

Running ones are not a problem????

"Shark virgin birth warning to man, expert says" --headline, CNN, May 25

Yes, when she says she has a headache, pay ATTENTION!

"Bee Feed Tested for Pet Food Taints"--headline, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, May 18

Taint cats and taint dogs.

"Miller Posts Flat Beer Sales Again"--headline, Associated Press, May 17

No wonder they are only number 2 in sales.

"Will We Have Gas During Hurricanes?"--headline, WTSP-TV Web site (Tampa, Fla.), May 17

Only if we eat the beans.

"Finding Cause of Diarrhea Is a Process of Elimination"--headline, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, May 17

Guess they found it.

"Pakistani Husband Accused of Being Woman"--headline, Associated Press, May 20

Must be that Virgin Birth we heard about.

"Women to Get No-Period Pill"--headline, Associated Press, May 21

This should clarify when no means NO!