"Experts Say It's Too Hard to Fall Over Accidentally"--headline, Nashua (N.H.) Telegraph, April 10
Gerald Ford never seemed to have a problem.
"Study Reveals How Drunken Bats Sober Up"--headline, LiveScience.com, April 10
They look at the man in bed with them.
"GM Puts Brakes on New Rear-Wheel Drive Vehicles"--headline, Detroit News, April 12
I am glad I did not buy any rear wheel drive GMs before that!
"Armed Man Shot Across Street From CNN Center"--headline, CNN.com, April 12
Barnum and Bailey say they already have cannon fodder.
"Big Apple Produces Almost 1 Percent of U.S. Greenhouse Gases"--headline, CNN.com, April 11
Big Prunes produce most of the shitz too.
"Butte Blast Blamed on Leaking Gas"--headline, Billings (Mont.) Gazette, April 10
Those SBDs will get you every time.
"France Wrestles With Its Own Decline"--headline, Associated Press, April 14
Guess they have not surrendered to it yet.
"Turtle Races Being Tracked on Web"--headline, Associated Press, April 15
Must tbe the Slowskys
"WWII Raid Starts Sooner Than Expected"--headline, Oregonian, April 16
Breaking news 65 years later?????
"Normal Man Hospitalized After Motorcycle Accident"--headline, WJBC-AM Web site (Bloomington, Ill.), April 16
Abnormal man walks away?
"Duck Emerges Victorious From Car Incident"--headline, Metro Cafe (England), April 17
Howard wins another one over the dark lords.
"Hungarian Motorway Blocked by Escaping Rabbits"--headline, Reuters, April 16
No Goulash tonight.