"Congressman Caught on Tape, Documents Say"--headline, Associated Press, May 22

That fly tape catches everyone!

"FBI Digs Michigan Field for Hoffa Remains"--headline, United Press International, May 18

I dig rock and roll, but I am not looking for hoffa in the latest Bob Dylan lyrics.

"Jordan Plays Hardball With Hamas"--headline, Associated Press, May 19

I thought he had retired from baseball?

"Strikes by Indian Doctors Enter Day 6; Poor Suffer Worst"--headline, Associated Press, May 19

Then quit striking them!

"Boise County Men Critical After Shooting Each Other"--headline, Idaho Statesman, May 18

I would be pissed too if someone shot me.

"Historic Smoke-Free Ontario Act Is a Joint Effort"--headline, press release, Ontario Ministry of Health, May 18

Tabacco kills!  But hey dude, want a toke?

"Brawl at Anti-Violence Rally Preceded Shootings"--headline, New Haven (Conn.) Register, May 19

I would hate to see what happens at a pro-violence rally!

"Scientists Show Dinosaur Fingernail Fossil"--headline, Associated Press, May 19

What is the dinosaur going to do with a fossil?