"You Know Anybody Who Needs an 'Anti-Stupid' Pill?"--headline, Reuters, Aug. 7

First Candidate - the writer of that headline.

"Oklahoma's Lethal Injections Called Fatally Flawed"--headline, Los Angeles Times, Aug. 8

Well, if they were not fatal, then they would not be lethal, now would they?

"Tri-Cities Police Waste No Time Finding Stolen Doughnut Truck"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 7

Saving one of their own.

"After 10 Years, Few Believe in Life on Mars"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 5

Before 10 years, they believe in the Easter Bunny too.

"Shuttle Crew in Florida for Practice Countdown"--headline, Reuters, Aug. 7

They should not have skipped math in school. 10-9-8-7-.......

"Pregnant Woman Arrested by Terror Police in Her Pyjamas"--headline, Daily Mail (London), Aug. 11

How did the police get into her pajamas? (hat tip to Groucho Marx).

"Dog Meat Still Hot Potato in Seoul"--headline, Korea Times, Aug. 10

You mean it does not taste like Chicken?

"Man Drops Suit Involving Right to Sunbathe With Dog"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 10

Hard to sunbathe in a suit.

"Suspect Tries to Flee Turkey Courthouse"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 11

He slipped on the Greece.

"New Research Documents Increasing Obesity Among Infants"--headline, McClatchy-Tribune Information Services, Aug. 9

Get rid of those research documents!

"Forecasters Say 50-50 Chance Weak El Nino Will Develop"--headline, Reuters, Aug. 10

Non-forecasters say there is a 50-50 chance El Nino will not develop.  Vegas taking bets on who will be right.