Weird and Wacky Headlines

Laugh, Yell, or Groan, or Make your own

Published on April 12, 2008 By Dr Guy In Humor

"Mercury Drops, Revives Cold Wave"--headline, Times of India, Jan. 22

WOW! And I thought it was the other way around - a cold wave causes the mercury to drop

"Uranus Factory Outlet LIVES!"--headline, OnMilwaukee.com, Jan. 12

Creature from the black cesspool?

"Stars Shoot Down Ducks"--headline, National Post (Canada), Jan. 22

This one is not Dick Cheney's fault.

"State Officials Travel to China to Sell Georgia"--headline, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Jan. 21

Nothing good has come out of that state since Gone With the Wind Anyway.

"Judge Sentences Rhymes to Probation"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 23

No More Limericks until further notice

"Singer Says Rumors That He Is Dead Aren't True"--headline, Times-Union (Jacksonville, Fla.), Jan. 24

A voice from Beyond

"U.S. Recession to Hit Canada Hardest"--headline, Pravda, Jan. 25

Our 51st state?

"French Government Will Fight Any Hostile Takeover"--headline, Toronto Star, Jan. 29

Like they did in 1940?

"Spears Now in Hands of Doctors"--headline, CNN.com, Feb. 1

Now that is what I call Witch doctoring!

"Arkansas State Fair Ranked Among Top 50 Fairs"--headline, Arkansas Business, Feb. 5

That is a great way of saying it is the worst.

"Scientists Grow Human Skin in France"--headline, SkyNews.com, Feb. 4

A greater feat would be growing backbones there.

Comments

Zoologist03

on Apr 12, 2008

"Uranus Factory Outlet LIVES!"--

That's good. No one wants a dead anus.

"Stars Shoot Down Ducks"--

Ducks plan to sue Hollywood for slander.

"State Officials Travel to China to Sell Georgia"--

Now we're outsourcing actual states.

"Judge Sentences Rhymes to Probation"--

Hard times hit rhymes...uh oh, now I'm in trouble.

"French Government Will Fight Any Hostile Takeover"--

Enacted policy of "Pretending not to be home."

"Spears Now in Hands of Doctors"--

They won't remove your tonsils, they'll destroy them.

"Scientists Grow Human Skin in France"--

Now they actually have to dress up for Halloween.

Good stuff, Doc.

~Zoo

uDigItTheMost

on Apr 14, 2008

Funny stuff, Doc. A lot of good ones.

dynamaso

on Apr 14, 2008

Dr Guy

on Apr 14, 2008

Good stuff, Doc. ~Zoo

Yours are as well! Thanks for the additions!

Dr Guy

on Apr 14, 2008

Funny stuff, Doc. A lot of good ones.

From the master, that is high praise! Thanks!

Dr Guy

on Apr 14, 2008

dynamaso

comment 3

Thanks! Somethings do transcend borders.

Zoologist03

on Apr 14, 2008

Yours are as well! Thanks for the additions!

Thank ya, just workin' on honing my skills.

~Zoo

MasonM

on Apr 14, 2008

"Arkansas State Fair Ranked Among Top 50 Fairs"--headline, Arkansas Business, Feb. 5

Kinda like the Russian news report about a race between a Soviet ship and an American one. They reported that while the Soviet ship came in second, the American ship came in next to last. They were the only two in the race.

Dr Guy

on Apr 14, 2008

Thank ya, just workin' on honing my skills.

Create your own, or add to this one. Laughs are good no matter where you find them.

Dr Guy

on Apr 14, 2008

They reported that while the Soviet ship came in second, the American ship came in next to last.

Where do you think Arkansas got the idea?

Adventure-Dude

on Apr 15, 2008

"Uranus Factory Outlet LIVES!"--headline, OnMilwaukee.com, Jan. 12

-I guess because there's no Inlet store its outlet only?
-So that's where assholes come from?

"Stars Shoot Down Ducks"--headline, National Post (Canada), Jan. 22

Total Matrix style? Talk about dodging a bullet!

Dr Guy

on Apr 15, 2008

-So that's where assholes come from?

Big Fat Daddy

on Apr 15, 2008

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