"Dallas Man Shoots, Kills Burglar Twice in 1 Month"--headline, KTVT-TV Web site (Dallas), Oct. 14

We have to pass law like the chinese and outlaw re-incarnation.

"Pigs Used to Increase Water Flow in Cartersville"--headline, Daily Tribune (Cartersville, Ga.), Oct. 14

Customers complain about yellow color of water.

"AP IMPACT: Calif. Water Is Getting Worse"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 12

Must be using the pigs to increase the flow.

"Australian Man Survives Nine-Storey Fall in His Underpants"--headline, Agence France-Presse, Oct. 16

Now that is a large pair of pants to fill!

"Britney Turns Herself Into Police"--headline, LiveNews.com.au, Oct. 16

Sting demands Royalties

"Neanderthals May Have Talked"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 18

At least the females did.

"Pelosi Rebukes Stark For Inflammatory Bush Comments"--headline, KNTV Web site (San Jose, Calif.), Oct. 19

Democrats hate any reference to religion.

"Giants Are Motivated in Absence of Barber"--headline, New York Times, Oct. 24

Samson on a rampage.

"Learn to Raise Happy Children Up to Age 6"--headline, Idaho Statesman, Oct. 24

And then make them unhappy?

"Iraqis Try to Defuse Tension With Turkey"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 26

 Really Tom, we dont have a Thanksgiving day here.  Would we Lie?

"Neanderthals Described as Red-Haired"--headline, ABCNews.com, Oct. 25

Whew!  That leaves me out, I have brown hair.

"Being a Condom Tester Is a Hard Job"--headline, Durex press release, Oct. 22

Do we really have to go there?

"Red-Light Cameras to Ticket Humble Drivers"--headline, KPRC-TV Web site, Nov. 1

Guess we should be aggressive!

"Police Impersonator Sought"--headline, Boston Globe, Nov. 5

Aren't they called strippers?