"Pelosi Weds in Prison"--headline, Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.), Jan. 19

Now that is a new term for the House of Representatives.

"Experts Tell How to Cut Foreclosures"--headline, Charlotte Observer, Jan. 18

Pay the Bills!  Duh!

"Study Finds Fire Retardant in Great Lakes"--headline, United Press International, Jan. 14

I think that is called Water.

"Students Find Housing On and Off Campus"--headline, Daily Texan (University of Texas at Austin), Jan. 18

Does this mean they might or might not live there?

"Two Women Charged With Transporting Guns to Mass."--headline, Boston Globe, Jan. 19

Guess they were tired of snoring in the pews.

"Aspirin Benefits Depend on Sex"--headline, MyDNA.com, Jan. 18

Whose Headache was that anyway?

"Hamster and Snake Forge Unlikely Friendship"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 18

I think we call that Lunch!