"Saddam Blasts US 'Stooges' "--headline, Scotsman, Dec. 5

Hey!  Layoff Larry, Moe and Curly!

"Americans Want Next President to Be Different in Poll"--headline, Bloomberg News, Dec. 3

Guess Americans are lucky for having the 22nd amendment.

"Tests Confirm Gun Used in Shooting"--headline, News & Observer (Raleigh, N.C.), Dec. 2

Blowgun ruled out, as well as slingshot.

"Wasps Could Replace Bomb, Drug Dogs"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 3

Watch a WASP explode today!  Just dont let them near your dogs.

"Tenured Teachers Rarely Canned"--headline, Pantagraph (Bloomington, Ill.), Dec. 6

Poached, fried and sauted are fine.

"Program for Ex-Convicts Loses US Grant"--headline, Boston Globe, Dec. 6

I could have told them to just check his tomb!