"Man Serving Life for Murder Dies"--headline, Athens (Ga.) Banner-Herald, Oct. 24

Guess his sentence was served?

"Dead Man Gets Parking Ticket"--headline, Reuters, Oct. 21

Will they throw him in Jail if he does not pay?  They cant give him a life sentence.

"Mermaids, Dinosaurs Deemed Terror Targets"--headline, Tampa Tribune, Oct. 25

Good!  Let them dig up old bones and myths and leave the rest of us in peace.

"Egypt Slaughters French Ducklings Amid Flu Fears"--headline, Expatica.com, Oct. 23

The French will surrender ANYTHING to escape a battle!

"Six Stabbed at 1-Year-Old's Birthday Party"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 24

Uh, children, it is pin the tail on the DONKEY, not the ASS.

"Straw and Rice Meet Katrina Victims"--headline, Scotsman, Oct. 24

Bread and Water would probably have been more welcome.

"Edwards Takes Anti-Poverty Movement to Dartmouth"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 21

Must be all those Starving Students.

"Dead Parrot in British Quarantine Had Bird Flu"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 21

{Gideon, Here is your chance for your line!}