Sorry if my Darth Vader imitation is off by a bit.  I cant seem to get the nuance down at times.

Recently, 2 people have called me fatherly, or father like.  One I think was done in a spirit of good natured ribbing, and the other in the heat of debate.  For the life of me, I don't see how any one can say I am fatherly, father like, or paternal.  I never had one!

My father left me when I was 4.  I saw him once in my life after that.  I probably would not have recognized him if I did see him (and indeed that one time I did see him, I had to be told by my paternal Grandparents who he was - I was not amused).

I had a step father as well.  And he was about as useful as a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward.  His children hate him.  I don't.  I just pity the fool.  The only father figure I ever had was my maternal grandfather, and while I admire him a lot, I did not live with him, so he did not raise me.  The few times we got to spend together I do remember with a lot of fondness (and he did teach me how to tie flies and hooks), but that really was not being a father figure, although he was never contemptuous of me.

I blew it with my own children.  Realize too late in some of their lives that "when you die, you will not miss the times you worked 12 hours a day, you will regret the times not spent with family and friends".  I did not have to die for that, but I did wait way too long to stop working 5 jobs and start spending quality time with my children.

My youngest, is the luckiest as he was only 6 when I finally decided that enough was enough and my children were disappearing before my eyes.  But it is tough only having my son every other weekend and sharing holidays.  At least I was given a second chance with him and my oldest son.  My daughters were too old and just resent the fact that I was not a wage slave to their mother until the day I died.

So in a nut shell, I am not a fatherly figure.  Hell, I don't even know how to be a good father!  I sure wish I did, and perhaps in time I will have a second chance with my grandchildren.  But, Luke, I am not your father.  And you should be damn glad I am not.

I have not failed at much in my life when I wanted to do something, but I failed my children as a father for 17 years, just like my father failed me all his life.