Debate, and discuss, just dont Bore me.
Men, Beware!
Published on June 20, 2005 By Dr Guy In Humor
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility.

I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token
Ring to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.

I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0
still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure language I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your
hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented."

A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge
resource hog. It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus.

Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although he did
not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off.

I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway because of insufficient resources.



Comments
on Jun 20, 2005
OMG... I thought you cracked up until I noticed this was under Humour.....
And YES... it was funny
on Jun 20, 2005
This one has been around a long time, but it's still amusing to read now again.
on Jun 20, 2005
The GirlFriend and Wife application jokes are some of the funniest I've seen. Other fun variants are the ChildProcess jokes (i.e. takes ages to actually load and become a full application, takes all of your resources while it's loading, crashes your hardware when it reaches version 16.0, assigns all bugs to parent processes and splits when it hits 18.0 and turns over to CollegeStudent 1.0)
on Jun 20, 2005

OMG... I thought you cracked up until I noticed this was under Humour.....
And YES... it was funny

Coming on top of your blog on computers, this is just a friendly reminder to test before installing on a production machine!

on Jun 20, 2005

This one has been around a long time, but it's still amusing to read now again.

I have seen the boyfriend one, but this was the first time I saw the girlfriend one.  And boy, aint it the truth!

on Jun 20, 2005

ChildProcess jokes (i.e. takes ages to actually load and become a full application, takes all of your resources while it's loading, crashes your hardware when it reaches version 16.0, assigns all bugs to parent processes and splits when it hits 18.0 and turns over to CollegeStudent 1.0)

If you can find that one, I would love to read it!  I would love to add to it as well!