Daily Dose of Whacky Headlines

With a couple of DOHs thrown in.

Published on April 14, 2005 By Dr Guy In Humor

"Study Suggests Geography Favored Kerry"--headline, Rocky Mountain News, April 8

Guess they have not learned that land cannot vote. Maybe a new amendment to the constitution would fix this problem?

"Woman Says ME Took Her Brother's Brain"--headline, Associated Press, April 8

I NEVER! I did not take it!

"Rabid Raccoon Confirmed in Nassau County"--headline, WINS-AM Web site (New York), April 12

Boy, I guess the Catholic Church is hard up for membership!

And now for some ghoulish headlines:

"U.S. Grant Offered To Team Studying Computer Attacks"--headline, The Wall Street Journal (link for subscribers), April 12

Then who would they leave in Grant's tomb?

"Ill. Museum Brings Abraham Lincoln to Life"--headline, Associated Press, April 12

Cant they let the guy rest in peace? Is this going to be a road show with Lincoln and Grant?

And now for the painfully obvious:

"Poll: Many Dread Preparing Taxes"--headline, Arizona Republic, April 12

"Terrorism a Global Menace Panel Says"--headline, United Press International, April 12

"Study: Cloned Meat, Milk Nearly the Same"--headline, Associated Press, April 11

You got to wonder the education level of some of the editors with 'surprise' headlines like these!

Comments

foreverserenity

on Apr 14, 2005

Another chuckle Dr. Guy!

And a guffaw for this one "Woman Says ME Took Her Brother's Brain"--headline, Associated Press, April 8"I NEVER! I did not take it!"

I'm voting you king of one-liners!

Dr Guy

on Apr 14, 2005

I'm voting you king of one-liners!

Glad you like them, but I have to decline the award. That line was from Frank Burns on a Mash Episode.

But I do love reading them (the headlines). I know they are innocent, but the editors, in their efforts at brevity sure do make some of the headlines jump out at you. Ah the irony that is the english language!

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