Debate, and discuss, just dont Bore me.
Published on April 1, 2011 By Dr Guy In Blogging

The word snaps at you like an angry dog.  Violated.  It is not one of life's better moments.  And many have felt it before. 

Violation can occur in many different ways.  From the very violent and lethal, to a more subtle form that occurs routinely - when your "space" is violated.  So lumping all of them into one catch-all is not conducive to the feeling you get when you are - Violated.

The form I was recently privy to was of the medium verity.  Not of someone getting in my face, nor of someone physically attacking me (for women that includes rape).  No, my form was the one that the FBI has mounds of statistics on that numb us to read - until you are part of those statistics.

We were robbed.  The sad things is that no one broke in.  And indeed, our house was not ransacked.  It was a carefully planned, cold hearted activity and it got us.  Our crime?  Offering to help a friend.  A friend unfortunately that is a junkie.  Although we knew she had abused drugs in the past, we thought she had cleaned up her act.  Alas, no, her "therapy" had taken a wrong turn at a rehab house that was literally being run by the inmates.  As she said "junkies are not stupid".  She learned a lot from that place - so much so that she graduated from oxycontin to horse.  And with the price going out of sight, she had to figure out a way to get some big money fast.  And our hospitality was just the trick. 

She stole some money.  Some trinkets of jewelry.  Each in and of itself not significant.  But you still feel violated.  No longer can you toss change on a bureau.  No longer can you even leave keys on a table, an Ipod on a charger, a ring on a night stand.  You have to lock everything away.

How we caught her was pure luck.  A ring dropped on the floor that did not belong there.  Had she not dropped that ring, a really minor piece of what she stole, she may still be stealing from us.  But that ring lead us to look for what was missing.  And we are still looking.  How many people know exactly where everything is in their house, and remember the last time they saw it?  It is rough to say the least.  We have just begun to total up what is lost - permanently lost.  For in this time of skyrocketing gold prices, jewelry is no longer hocked at a pawn shop, it is sold and melted at the cash4gold fences. (I am sure they do some legitimate business, but most of it is just stolen and they know it - else why would they melt it almost immediately?).

The metal content of the jewelry is insignificant.  The pieces irreplaceable.  An engagement ring, a mother's heirloom ring passed down from generation to generation.  A grandfather's watch passed on to his oldest grandson - having had no sons himself.  The metal content of these things are insignificant.  Even the jewels in them are trinkets.  The sentimental value hurts the most.  A piece of our lives are gone forever.  A piece of our heritage is lost to a junkie's habit.  A part of our trusting soul is darkened.

As she sat on the sofa freely answering the police questions, I tried to fathom, how low someone could sink to be so cold hearted about what she had done.  She was not high then, she had come down as she said.  But she had planned on taking us for everything we had over time (if not for that small ring on the floor). Along with her "friends".  Friends?  Not hardly.  Just fellow junkies that will abandon her as quickly as the smelter melted the jewelry.

We lost a lot of things this week.  Some are irreplaceable.  And some were not material.  Violation does that to you


Comments
on Apr 01, 2011

That sux...sorry, Doc.

on Apr 02, 2011

Ugh.  Sorry to read this.

I don't even know what to say...except the times in life I've been burnt the worst were while helping someone out.

Addiction is the devil.

on Apr 02, 2011

Hi, T!!

on Apr 02, 2011

Hey BFD!

on Apr 04, 2011

Big Fat Daddy
That sux...sorry, Doc.

This one goes under live and learn.  20 years ago, I would have snatched the bitch bald (and probably been in jail with her now).  Now, we just try to figure out what she stole and go on from there.

But a big lesson learned - get a rider on your homeowners!  I just found out only $1500 is covered and my wife's engagement ring was over twice that.

on Apr 04, 2011

Tova7
I don't even know what to say...except the times in life I've been burnt the worst were while helping someone out.

I guess because we think we are doing a favor to someone - only to be bitten by the object of the effort.

Tova7
Addiction is the devil.

Yes it is. We have all read about it.  I know I have extensively.  But I guess this brought it home - hard.  This girl was not always a scheming duplicitous thief.  She is now.

on Apr 05, 2011

Wow, I think it is even worse when it comes from someone you are trying to help. I am sorry for your experience, Doc.

on Apr 05, 2011

MasonM
Wow, I think it is even worse when it comes from someone you are trying to help. I am sorry for your experience, Doc.

The worse part of that aspect of it is the loss of trust.  Perhaps in time we will regain it, but for now, we do not trust anyone.  When all is said and done, that is what makes me the angriest.

on Apr 05, 2011

Dr Guy
The worse part of that aspect of it is the loss of trust.  Perhaps in time we will regain it, but for now, we do not trust anyone.  When all is said and done, that is what makes me the angriest.

 

That is quite understandable. I have always believed one can never trust a junky, the addiction is just too powerful.

on Apr 06, 2011

MasonM
That is quite understandable. I have always believed one can never trust a junky, the addiction is just too powerful.

The irony was she supposedly had kicked it.  She was at a group home - that we later found was run by the inmates who got her hooked on horse (she was an oxy addict before).  I am being told there is nothing we can do about that house because it is state run.

That is what they told me about the halfway house in my neighborhood too.  But I happen to know that while the police may not be able to do anything, all must be licensed.  And I am friends with the head of licensing in this state.