Weekly Dose of Weird and Whacky Headlines

Published on December 4, 2007 By Dr Guy In Humor

"Soldier From Venus Dies in Iraq"--headline, Dallas Morning News, Sept. 8

Now THAT is an illegal alien!

"China Agrees to Lead Paint Ban"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 11

No more color - natural wood only.

"Bay City Schools Adds Staff to Handle More Kindergartners"--headline, Bay City (Mich.) Times, Sept. 11

No more spare the rod crap in Bay City.

"Washington Leads Nation in Putting Off Retirement"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 12

Our founders aknow the value of work!

"Youth Home Celebrating 100th Year"--headline, Kalamazoo (Mich.) Gazette, Sept. 13

Must be Vulcan if 100 is still "youth"!

"Witness Says He Tried to Protect Johnson"--headline, Waterloo-Cedar Falls (Iowa) Courier, Sept. 13

Loreena Bobbitt on the loose again!

"Genetics Make Salmon Bear Trout"--headline, Times of India, Sept. 14

What do you get when you cross a bear with a fish?

"Police Find Live Chicken in Wisconsin Man's Trunk at Traffic Stop"--headline, FoxNews.com, Sept. 15

And a dead duck when he gets home!

"University in N.D. Warns Students About Pirating"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 10

Arrg, fer Cap'n Starkers! New Recruits from just west o' Stardock!

"Police Deny Tampering With Dam Evidence"--headline, Age (Melbourne, Australia), Sept. 19

"Ok, Harry, where did you put the dam file on that dam bank robbery!"

"Russert Confronts Hillary on Flip-Flops"--headline, NewsMax.com, Sept. 23

Her pumps were in the shop for re-souling.

"Raging Bull Attacks Connecticut Home"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 22

DeNiro has been hitting the sauce again.

"Men Are Smarter (and More Stupid) Than Women, Say Scientists"--headline, Daily Mail (London), Sept. 24

I agree with that, no I dont. Yes I do (no I dont). Sure we are - aren't we dear?

Comments

MasonM

on Dec 04, 2007

"Men Are Smarter (and More Stupid) Than Women, Say Scientists"--headline, Daily Mail (London), Sept. 24

Same scientist proclaim that Global Warming is (and isn't) real.

Dr Guy

on Dec 04, 2007

Same scientist proclaim that Global Warming is (and isn't) real.

We can always agree (or not) with them.

Zoologist03

on Dec 04, 2007

"Witness Says He Tried to Protect Johnson"--

Never go for a walk with dog treats in your pocket.

"Genetics Make Salmon Bear Trout"--

This creature may be in league with ManBearPig. (Little South Park reference for ya)

"Police Find Live Chicken in Wisconsin Man's Trunk at Traffic Stop"--

Thankfully before he got to the finger lickin' part.

~Zoo

foreverserenity

on Dec 04, 2007

! At first, some of these were bland but it ended really dam good!

dynamaso

on Dec 04, 2007

"Soldier From Venus Dies in Iraq"--headline, Dallas Morning News, Sept. 8

I thought men were from Mars? Wait, that is rather sexist of me. Maybe this refers to a female soldier.

Dr Guy

on Dec 05, 2007

This creature may be in league with ManBearPig. (Little South Park reference for ya)

I forgot about Southpark!

Thankfully before he got to the finger lickin' part.

Gross! (but a good one!)

Dr Guy

on Dec 05, 2007

At first, some of these were bland but it ended really dam good!!

Yea, I have not had time to really look. But check out Adnauseum's as well for a foreign look at the news! I like his as well.

Dr Guy

on Dec 05, 2007

I thought men were from Mars? Wait, that is rather sexist of me. Maybe this refers to a female soldier.

or dont ask dont tell.

(That is the current Gay Policy for he US military and is very controversial).

Big Fat Daddy

on Dec 05, 2007

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