"Steep Drop in Death Among Diabetic Men"--headline, WebMD.com, June 18

Good news!  Become Diabetic and you may not die!

"Google Pushes 100-mpg Car"--headline, CNNMoney.com, June 19

Mine gets over 100mpg when I push it too!

"New York City Pays $29,000 for Arresting Topless Woman"--headline, CNN.com, June 18

She must have had some pair of hooters!

"Baby Swallows Found Dead"--headline, Union (Grass Valley, Calif.), June 19

Moral: Dont let baby swallow?????

"Gay Divorcee Gets Rights of Visitation"--headline, New York Sun, June 19

Fred can visit Ginger now?

"Bernstein: Clintons Would Operate Joint Presidency"--headline, New York Sun, June 20

But they would not inhale.

"WTO Talks Collapse Two Days Early"--headline, Los Angeles Times, June 22

If you plan to fail, do it 2 days early.

"Carrots, Not Sticks, Will Curb Water Use"--headline, Times Colonist (Victoria, British Columbia), June 21

Carrots have always tasted better anyway.

"Hotter Weather Forecast for Much of US This Summer"--headline, Boston Globe, June 22

And the Hippy Dippy weatherman says - "Tonight's forecast: Dark. Continued dark tonight, turning to partly light in the morning."

"Two Top California Republicans Are Aliens"--headline, New York Sun, June 25

Alf and ET exposed.

"Three Quarters Believe Global Warming a 'Natural Occurrence' "--headline, Life Style Extra, June 26

2 half dollars and the dime believe otherwise.

"Albino Mountain Goat Spotted in Italy"--headline, Associated Press, June 25

Are the spots white too?

"Politically Connected Electrician Charged"--headline, Philadelphia Inquirer, June 26

Better than the energizer bunny - he is good for another campaign.

"Lawyer: Ex-Astronaut Didn't Wear Diaper"--headline, Associated Press, June 30

Donovan is going to be soooooo disappointed.