pu·ta·tive  

Ever heard of the word before?  I had not before this week, but it is a real word.  Reputed.  That one has some negative overtones.  How about "supposed".  That one can have negative overtones, but is better.  The first seems to be the tamest.  "commonly regarded as".  But in this case, it is also the one that least fits the usage I encountered it in.

Virginia is creating a Putative Fathers Registry.  We are not the first, indeed, some states have had one for almost 10 years.  I heard (I did not verify) that about 34 states have it now.  So what is it?

It is a registry where a father can claim sireship of a child.  In other words, the child is his.  Now this may seem like a quaint notion for married couples, but the registry is not really for that (although it can be in certain circumstances).  This registry is for babies generally born out of wedlock, being put up for adoption.  And is a way a father can assert his rights on that process if he so chooses.

How many do?  Well, since the registry is not due to go live in Virginia until July 1, I cant say here.  But the information supplied (it is voluntary - in other words only the father can put his name in the hat) can e used for other purposes as well (like child support).  So how many have applied for this?

In other states, the participation is very low.  Ranging from a couple hundred a year in one state, to only about 20,000 in the 10 years for another.

At the same time, I am not surprised by the numbers, yet I am saddened.  Not surprised because there are a bunch of Don Juans running around that want nothing to do with a child they may father.  Saddened, that with so many babies born, there are so few fathers that want anything to do with their child.

As a father who had to fight for visitation with my children, I am very keenly aware of the way the justice system in this country ends over back wards in favoring the mother.  But can you blame them all the time?  Since so many fathers could not care less about their children?

For those of you not reading Ennarath's White Life series (it is very good and I highly recommend it), he has recently introduced a twist where someone got pregnant, even though precautions were taken.  This happens all the time.  I joke, only half kiddingly, that I have exceptional children.  Exceptions that prove 4 different methods of Birth control are not 100%.  But I love them all.  And cannot imagine ever tossing them away.  They are a part of me, and I love them dearly.

I was married to their mother.  But even had I not been, I would have wanted a part of their lives.  Yet it seems I am in a small minority of men.  And that is very sad.  A sad indictment of all men actually.

I hope Virginia's Putative Fathers Registry is an overwhelming success.  But I am not going to bet on it.