"La. Governor Outraged Over Faulty Pumps"--headline, Associated Press, March 15

She should wear flats.  They are better for yoru feet anyway.

"Stray Cats Enter Home, Attack Woman, Boy"--headline, Associated Press, March 15

They should have stuck to singing.

"Fidel Castro Fit to Run in 2008, Official Says"--headline, FoxNews.com, March 16

Another democrat in the race?

"VA Nurse Lists Dead Patient as 'Stable' "--headline, News & Record (Greensboro, N.C.), March 15

"This just in!  Francisco Franco is Still Dead!"

"160,000-Year-Old Child Suggests Modern Humans Got Early Start"--headline, National Geographic News, March 14

That is one old child!  Maybe Ben Franklin was right?

"Will Gonzales Fall for Attorney Firings?"--headline, CBSNews.com, March 16

I heard the one in Michigan was a knockout.

"Anna Nicole Smith in Diary: I Hate Sex" --headline, Foxnews, March 23

What?????  With the number of guys claiming to be the father of her daughter??????

"Crook Is Newest Judge in Burlington County"--headline, Courier-Post (Cherry Hill, N.J.), March 19

Is this the new "Judged by his peers" trend?

"Sheriff's Office Recognized"--headline, Enquirer (Cincinnati), March 19

The one with the big star over the doorway.

"French Candidate Calls for China Boycott"--headline, Associated Press, March 21

Escargo to be served on Paper plates only.

"Foundry Silterra Ponders 65-nm Leap"--headline, EE Times, March 20

Should he get a running start?

"Pampers Are Not an Invention of the Devil"--headline, Times (London), March 21

I always thought it was what was inside the diaper that was the invention of the devil!