"Giants Meet to Counter US Power"--headline, Times (London), Feb. 15

What are the Cowboys going to do about it?

"Colorado Man Places 3rd in Sled Dog Race"--headline, Rocky Mountain News, Feb. 14

He would probably have done better if he had used dogs.

"Monster Exec Wants to Plead Guilty"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 15

I had one of those.  A shame he was not convicted too.

"Dole Recalls Cantaloupes"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 16

Did the viagra help his memory?

"Study Links Multiple Births to Diary Product Consumption"--headline, MSNBC.com/WBAL-TV (Baltimore), Feb. 19

Eat cheese - have twins?

"Thousands Could Die if a Giant Tornado Ever Hits Houston"--headline, Houston Chronicle, Feb. 20

I did not know that Houstonians were immortal.  They will never die if that tornado stays away.

"Calif. Judge Kills moving Inmates to Ind."--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 21

That's one way to cut down on Prison over crowding.  Dead men tell no tales.

"Bird Stirs Up Excitement in Rare Indiana Appearance"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Feb. 20

Birds are an endangered species in the Hoosier state?

"Man Sentenced to Prison, Gets Married"--headline, Associated Press, Feb. 23

Talk about redundant headlines.

"Pot Growers Plead, to Be Sentenced"--headline, Ionia (Mich.) Sentinel-Standard, Feb. 23

"Plesae Mr. Policeman, put me in Jail.  I got the munchies and no money!"

"Upstate Pump Prices Soar: Gas prices up more than a penny"--headline, Greenville (S.C.) News, Feb. 23

WOW!  Talk about deflation.  Been a long time since a penny was a lot of money.

"Source of Fecal Matter Studied"--headline, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Feb. 26

Betcha that some assholes know the source.